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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines.tp what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #ebooks #technology #newspaper #magazines #tp
Everything has changed all the time. Especially the recent years, with technology, the internet and social media.
Also
, traditional
newspapers
,
books
 and magazines will be replaced by
E-
books
. In the past decade, many people have liked to read
newspapers
 because it is the only way to know the news. Many publishers gain a lot of money from selling paper-based
newspapers
. After several years, many paper-based publishers closed their
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 caused to disruption by
e-
books
 or technology. Every people include teenagers, adults and elder person have a smartphone, they can read
books
, news, magazines, comics or everything they want on their mobile phone. I agree that digital-base
E-
books
 and modern technology will replace paper-base or traditional
newspapers
,
books
 and magazines, but not totally. Some people including me like to read paper-based material, it has a different feeling and scent compared to digital
E-
books
.
However
, paper-based
books
 have a lot of weight,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes my back hurt a lot when carrying
books
 and travelling around.
Therefore
,
books
 have a limit by weight, you can not carry hundreds of
books
, but with
E-
books
 independent from
this
 limit you can carry thousands or millions of
books
 with you by using
smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
show examples
.
Moreover
, traditional
books
 need some space to keep them neatly.
Furthermore
, you can share or send a number of knowledge around the world by utilising digital
books
, dramatically driving globalisation to more civilises. Potential tools called
E-
books
 break the wall that inhibits a person from learning new knowledge.
In addition
, no need for paper to produce
E-
books
,
then
 humans do not necessary to cut down trees.
This
 is one of the ways to help global boiling. In conclusion, both traditional
books
 and modern digital
books
 have their own benefit. We can carry millions of
books
 on smartphones, making it lower cost than paper-base
books
 because no need for a process to make paper from trees.
In other words
, paper-based traditional
books
 have a scent and feeling,
that is
 not available in digital
books
.
Submitted by somjutar.ops on

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Linking
Work on using a wider range of linking phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the cohesion and flow of your essay.
Detail
Clarify and develop your main points more thoroughly with detailed examples and explanations. This adds depth to your essay and strengthens your arguments.
Grammar
Be mindful of grammar and punctuation errors as they can sometimes make your arguments harder to follow. Consider revising your essay to correct these small inaccuracies.
Task Response
You successfully addressed the task by discussing both sides of the argument and giving a clear personal opinion.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively used to present your topic and summarize your key points, providing a solid framework for your essay.
Examples
You make good use of examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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