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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the three most popular kinds of items that were purchased in a particular bakery in the
year
Use synonyms
 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on buying
bread
Use synonyms
 fluctuated during most of the period.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the expenses for purchasing
bread
Use synonyms
 were the highest figure on the chart. In January, the expenditure on purchased
Bread
Use synonyms
 stood at $80,000, the highest expense in that
month
Use synonyms
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, compared to the lowest figure for buying
Pies
Use synonyms
 during the same
month
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, from March to June, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on purchasing
Bread
Use synonyms
 in the particular barkery store fluctuated and reached a high of $65,000. From June onwards of the
year
Use synonyms
 2014, buying
bread
Use synonyms
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 rapidly rose by $80,000, remaining unchanged when compared to the first
month
Use synonyms
 of that
year
Use synonyms
. In the first examined
month
Use synonyms
 of the
year
Use synonyms
 2014, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 of purchasing Buns stood at $40,000, hitting the second purchase level when compared to
Bread
Use synonyms
 and
Pies
Use synonyms
 during the same
month
Use synonyms
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, after a slight increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 $70,000 in May of purchasing
Pies
Use synonyms
 and remaining stabilized for the next three months.
Finally
Linking Words
, witnessing a downward tendency from August onwards hit the bottom of the chart on the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 for buying
Pies
Use synonyms
, which stood at $30,000 in December.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, amount, money, bread, month, pies with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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