Some belief that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#belief #money #education #computers #teachers

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In today's globalised

world

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world,

show examples

some consider that money should spent on better modern gadgets,

Correct word choice

while other

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other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

think that it is better spent on

teachers

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay

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essay,

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I will

discus

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discuss

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both

wievpoint

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viewpoint

viewpoints

and include my own opinion. On the one hand, our world rapidly changes and in big companies employees are required to utilize innovative tools.

Students

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should learn to use cutting-edge

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

for finding

properly

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proper

show examples

job

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jobs

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after postgraduating.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, high tech helps individuals to solve their problems quickly.

For instance

Linking Words

, we do not spend much time

for

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apply

show examples

reading books at libraries and find easily all

books

Correct article usage

the books

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by using our computers.

Moreover

Linking Words

, we pay all our bills

witougt

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without

leaving

house

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the house

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and save

our

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apply

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time.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, learning with

help

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the help

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teachers

Use synonyms

is more important.

Because educators

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Educators

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are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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not only help

students

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Verb problem

apply

show examples

solve their math problems,

they

Correct word choice

but they

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also

Linking Words

teach them how to act in society.

Additionally

Linking Words

, some

students

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learn better in classrooms. They

prefere

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prefer

face to face

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face-to-face

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education and to see

teachers

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show examples

classrooms.

To sum

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up,

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all mentioned above some people prefer to learn from modern

tecnologies

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technologies

. it

help

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helps

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them to pick all

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

they need by using high tech.

However

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

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believe it is better to learn from

teachers

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, they can provide learners with useful

datum

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data

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. Because there are much

information

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of information

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internet

Correct article usage

the internet

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and

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apply

show examples

teachers

Use synonyms

can help

students

Use synonyms

Verb problem

apply

show examples

choose which of them

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

essential.

Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on Sat Apr 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Consider organizing your ideas more clearly by using specific paragraphs for each viewpoint. This helps in making your essay more structured and easier to follow.

coherence

To enhance understanding, use a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will improve the flow of your essay and make the connections between your ideas more evident.

accuracy

It's essential to check your essay for minor spelling and grammar mistakes. Even though these are small, they can distract from your overall message. Correct usage will polish your essay.

development

Try to develop your arguments further by providing more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your position and make your points more convincing.

balance

You effectively discussed both views, providing a balanced overview of the topic.

conclusion

Your conclusion summarizes the essay well, reinforcing your personal viewpoint.

example

You make good use of simple examples to support your points, making your arguments more relatable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Investing
educational resources
collaborative learning
personalized and adaptive learning
professional development
talented educators
creative and effective teaching methods
human interaction
mentorship
critical thinking
emotional support
balance
digital tools
high-quality teaching

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Some belief that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, However, argue that the curcumstances of an individual crime. an the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many children these days have their own mobile phones what are the advantage and disadvantage of it.

impact on society of people having a poor work-life balance. some effective strategies for government and employments to ensure people have a good work-life balance?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?