Some belief that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#belief #money #education #computers #teachers

In today's globalised

world

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world,

show examples

some consider that money should spent on better modern gadgets,

Correct word choice

while other

show examples

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

think that it is better spent on

teachers

. In

this

essay

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essay,

show examples

I will

discus

Correct your spelling

discuss

show examples

both

wievpoint

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

viewpoints

and include my own opinion. On the one hand, our world rapidly changes and in big companies employees are required to utilize innovative tools.

Students

should learn to use cutting-edge

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

for finding

properly

Change the word

proper

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

after postgraduating.

Furthermore

, high tech helps individuals to solve their problems quickly.

For instance

, we do not spend much time

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reading books at libraries and find easily all

books

Correct article usage

the books

show examples

by using our computers.

Moreover

, we pay all our bills

witougt

Correct your spelling

without

leaving

house

Add an article

the house

show examples

and save

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

time.

On the other hand

, learning with

help

Correct article usage

the help

show examples

teachers

is more important.

Because educators

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Educators

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only help

students

Verb problem

apply

show examples

solve their math problems,

they

Correct word choice

but they

show examples

also

teach them how to act in society.

Additionally

, some

students

learn better in classrooms. They

prefere

Correct your spelling

prefer

face to face

Add a hyphen

face-to-face

show examples

education and to see

teachers

Change preposition

show examples

classrooms.

To sum

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up,

show examples

all mentioned above some people prefer to learn from modern

tecnologies

Correct your spelling

technologies

. it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

them to pick all

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

they need by using high tech.

However

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

believe it is better to learn from

teachers

, they can provide learners with useful

datum

Fix the agreement mistake

data

show examples

. Because there are much

information

Change preposition

of information

show examples

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

teachers

can help

students

Verb problem

apply

show examples

choose which of them

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

essential.

Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on Sat Apr 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Consider organizing your ideas more clearly by using specific paragraphs for each viewpoint. This helps in making your essay more structured and easier to follow.

coherence

To enhance understanding, use a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will improve the flow of your essay and make the connections between your ideas more evident.

accuracy

It's essential to check your essay for minor spelling and grammar mistakes. Even though these are small, they can distract from your overall message. Correct usage will polish your essay.

development

Try to develop your arguments further by providing more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your position and make your points more convincing.

balance

You effectively discussed both views, providing a balanced overview of the topic.

conclusion

Your conclusion summarizes the essay well, reinforcing your personal viewpoint.

example

You make good use of simple examples to support your points, making your arguments more relatable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Investing
educational resources
collaborative learning
personalized and adaptive learning
professional development
talented educators
creative and effective teaching methods
human interaction
mentorship
critical thinking
emotional support
balance
digital tools
high-quality teaching

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Some belief that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

Examine the arguments in favour and against animal experiments, and come to a conclusion on this issue.

Some people think that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.