IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

society is based on certain laws and regulations.if everyone wants to do whatever they do then society will not functioning well. do you which extent agree or dosagree?

#society #laws #regulations #dosagree
In
this
 cutting-edge era, there is a necessity for laws and regulations for the foundation of a healthy
society
.
However
, whether it is allowed to do whatever an individuals want without any laws or restrictions,
then
society
 will likely descend into chaos. I totally agree with the former view and will discuss my points of view briefly in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, a good and better
society
 consists of various law restrictions and
regualtions
Correct your spelling
regulations
 because if we have a look at the history time periods,
then
 there are numerous societies which remain undeveloped in areas of economic and social growth
due to
 the prime reason of unenforced laws.
In addition
 to
this
,
society
 has
much contribution
Change the quantifier
many contributions
show examples
 in the economic and social factors
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 making baseline for regulations and societal welfare programmes which promote the development plans of any country.
Moreover
, the
people
 who live in restrictive societies always have to
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 ethical and moral values
such
 as not harming others, less involvement in criminal activities, low rate of harassment reports, never harming any rights of individuals,
stays
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 polite and maintaining discipline in other lives too.
Furthermore
,
people
 who act solely based on freedom allowance are likely to be indulged in unfair practices.
For example
, usually, they do most of
actions
Correct pronoun usage
their actions
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
fulfilling
Wrong verb form
fulfil
show examples
 their personal desires
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and take possession
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those things
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which they have no right to possess, stifling personal freedom and creativity as well. Without the interference of government guidelines,
people
 can reach to any extent to achieve their goals whether they have to harm others or murder someone. In conclusion, there are some above-mentioned points which are discussed
according to
 my points of view.
However
, a good community
makes
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a strong foundation with the restrictive
regualtions
Correct your spelling
regulations
 in which
people
 can achieve their aims with their freedom and passion.
Submitted by deepnimrat553 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
You've done a good job of presenting and supporting your arguments throughout the essay. To enhance clarity and impact, consider varying sentence structure and complexity further.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more detailed, relevant examples to strengthen your points. Specific instances can significantly enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
General
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors to improve the overall quality of your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Well-structured arguments and a logical flow of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion that clearly present your viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good use of paragraphs to organize thoughts and arguments.
Task Achievement
Clear understanding and addressing of the task's requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!