in some place old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In the modern era, many people think that the older generation is really respected
whereas
others believe that the younger is more influential.
This
writer believes that older individuals play a crucial role in preserving cultural heritage, and shaping society's identity. It must be recognized that old people have experienced many events in history so they are wise. Since they know a lot of problems in the past very well, they could come up with a solution to protect the balance of society and teach youngsters. In many countries, especially the UK where the city hall staff and high-position roles in politics are usually old people who contribute 79% of all of these occupations.
However
, in some countries, the government has operated a special programme for seniors like paying them substantial retirement salaries and better healthcare.
This
wage actually comes from the tax that they have to pay every month and now they can receive with a little interest. The young
consequently
have to work harder to earn more money that compensates for their parents’ interest salary.
Moreover
, given the worse healthcare, the later-generation employees can not ensure
such
things. Perhaps
this
is
also
the factor contributing to why the you is considered more primary in other parts. In conclusion, I strongly believe that adolescents are more valuable
due to
the mentioned opinions or justifications.
Nevertheless
, we should respect the old ages as they had made countless and were the basis of any later innovations in the distant future.

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in your argument. The essay begins with valuing old age but concludes in favor of youth, which might confuse readers.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of appropriate linking words to enhance cohesion between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific, real-life examples to strengthen your argument and make your points more vivid and convincing.
task achievement
Review the essay for clarity in expressing your opinion throughout, ensuring a coherent stance from introduction to conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structure to ensure a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding/transition sentence in each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • respected
  • accumulated
  • heritage
  • patriarchs
  • matriarchs
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • trends
  • dynamic
  • heritage
  • progress
  • continuity
  • traditions
  • harmonious
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