There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

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It's common that a variety of

flavors

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flavours

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music

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are more and more popular all over the world, mainly because it could put

people

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in a better emotion. In my opinion, in every country, their domestic

music

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is much more crucial for residents locally than that from other parts of the world. Individuals in favor of

music

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argue that

music

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could make them feel better when faced

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with a

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more difficult and complex life.

For example

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, many young individuals, especially on

this

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Monday morning who usually are tired and depressed on the subway often tend to listen to some smooth and happy songs which might recharge or distress them to get rid of those bad emotions.

Also

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, some smoothing R&B rhythm could help citizens to stop thinking and get ready for bed in the evening.

While

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music

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has no nationality and might be a great tool to modify human feelings，songs and instrument plays contain different kinds of special cultural features which are far more critical for inhabitants domestically than

that

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apply

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from overseas. It means they are likely regarded as the representatives of national culture to express local residents' moods. Taking Rap as an instance, its popularity among young

people

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in many countries has been increasing. To some extent, it tropically represents American awareness of freedom and competition.

Hence

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, most Americans would perhaps go to participate in various related concerts, musical festivals and competing shows every year

instead

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of other foreign musical events. In conclusion,

music

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often makes

people

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feel happier.

Moreover

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, those traditional parts are far more essential for local

people

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than those from foreign.

13512874324Sun Apr 21 2024

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Clear Position

Ensure a clear distinction between your opinion and the general argument. This will strengthen your position and make your essay more compelling.

Depth of Examples

Expand on your examples by providing more detailed scenarios or real-life instances. This deepens the impact of your arguments and showcases a wider understanding of the topic.

Balanced Argument

Try to explore both sides of the argument more evenly, even if your stance favors one. This balanced approach can enrich your essay and provide a more nuanced perspective.

Introduction

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, highlighting the prominence of music and introducing the comparative importance of domestic versus international music.

Use of Examples

You provided specific examples to support your points, such as the use of music for mood enhancement and the cultural significance of Rap, which helps in illustrating your arguments.

Conclusion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your position and reinforces the overall argument, which is a good practice for cohesively wrapping up your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Your opinion

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree

Today, more and more students are deciding to move to another country for their studies. "Do you think" the benefits of this outweighs the disadvantages?

Many people find it difficult to speak in front of and to present to an audience. It is believed that this skill should be taught in school. Why is this important? To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?