it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantage.? give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.
There is no denying the fact that taking
risks
in our lives
by people
in some situations may result in huge success. While
it is a commonly held belief that humankind should take risks
in their professional and personal lives
, as; it is something crucial for individuals, there is also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that people
who are taking risks
gain more benefits than negative points.
To begin
with, most individuals who take risks
become able to change their lives
radically. In other words
, this
type of person is ambitious and brave, so; they have the ability to overcome any difficulties, they may face on their way toward achieving their goals. In addition
, when people
make their decisions to defeat professional or personal obstacles, this
attitude will confer them a strong personality and enough experience to solve any problem in their lives
. For example
, Apple company took a risk when it distributed the iPhone in the market for the first time because there were many competitors, in 2010, but without taking this
risk how they have gotten the tremendous success that they have today?
Another point to consider, when people
do not try to take any risks
in their lives
, this
behaviour will make them lazy. It is also
possible to say that without challenges humankind will not be able to accomplish any progress in this
world. Moreover
, overcoming risks
plays a significant role in the progress, of our modern era. For instance
, if scientists do not take the risks
of manufacturing aircraft to invade the sky, they will not be able to discover all planets in space.
In conclusion, despite people
having different views, I believe that it is very important for individuals to try to take risks
in their life, as; this
concept will make them attain a huge experience, and this
is the key to development throughout human life on the earth. Hence
, generally, numerous pros will be obtained after overcoming challenges.Submitted by sm710129 on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure could benefit from clearer transitions and a more systematic progression of arguments. Even though the essay presents an introduction and conclusion, they need to be developed with stronger thesis statements and summarised key points. To enhance coherence and cohesion, it's important to link ideas smoothly, avoid repetition, and follow a logical sequence.
task achievement
Task achievement is quite good with a complete response to the prompt, but your ideas sometimes lack clarity and comprehensiveness. Consider expanding on your main points by providing in-depth analysis and a broader range of examples. The essay demonstrates some risk-related examples, yet they could be more varied and detailed. Adding counterarguments and addressing potential disadvantages before reaffirming your stance would strengthen your position and demonstrate a full understanding of the topic.