In recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe these developments are necessary, while others regard them as dangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
These days,
farmers
use many chemical substances
in farming that can be beneficial in terms of larger size of crops
which can help to
Change preposition
apply
farmers
meet to
Change preposition
apply
people
's needs and address shortage
of natural resources problem.Correct article usage
the shortage
While
some people
assert that these methods are necessary to address global demand for foods
among individuals,others,including me,believe that Fix the agreement mistake
food
it
can affect Correct pronoun usage
they
welfare
of Add an article
the welfare
animals
adversely.
On the other hand
,it is claimed by some that genetically modified foods
are important as there is a growing demand for foods
.Because of overpopulation,people
consume more and more crops
and in this
case,farmers
add some fertilizers or chemical substances
to make harvests in
larger size and Change preposition
apply
consequently
,it helps to
them gain more Change preposition
apply
crops
and address people
's demands .For instance
,in many developed countries,increased consumption of harvests can put a strain natural
resources,which ultimately can result in depletion of sources.Change preposition
on natural
Therefore
,farmers
use new methods and using small amount
of ground,they make Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
crops
in larger size
which can help them to meet Fix the agreement mistake
sizes
people
's needs effectively.
On the other hand
,I would side with those who contend that using new methods in growing food can have detrimental
impact on Add an article
a detrimental
animals
as well as
biodiversity . Although
farmers
utilize many chemicals to improve food,these substances
should be experienced firstly
and Change the word
first
farmers
should identify that
they are safe for Correct word choice
whether
people
's health or not .In this
case ,they experience them on animals
which can be hazardous for them and it
can lead to Correct pronoun usage
apply
death
Correct pronoun usage
their death
of
them,in the long run, loss of habitat and biodiversity.
To cite an example,after Change preposition
apply
farmers
grow new foods
in which chemical substances
has
been used,they want to know its side effects on Change the verb form
have
people
's health.Therefore
,they use them in cats or other animals
to know
and it can contribute to health problems Verb problem
,
on
cats and even death Change preposition
for
of
Change preposition
apply
them
.
Taking everything into account,Correct pronoun usage
apply
While
in farming,utilizing new practices are
vital as it can help to meet Change the verb form
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
's needs,I think that it is important to acknowledge its deleterious impacts on animals
and our habitat .Submitted by Name_1234 on
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Language Usage
Consider rephrasing sentences to improve clarity and avoid repetition. Use synonyms to avoid repeating words such as 'crops' and 'chemical substances'.
Structure
Introduce your essay with a clearer statement that outlines the topics you will discuss. This helps to guide the reader.
Conclusion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing both viewpoints and your own opinion more distinctly to make a compelling final argument.
Coherence
Incorporate paragraph transitions to make your arguments flow more smoothly from one point to the next. This will enhance the overall cohesion of your essay.
Task Response
Use examples more effectively by detailing specific cases where modern farming practices have had positive or negative effects. This can support your argument more convincingly.
Content Balance
You effectively addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion.
Topical Knowledge
Your essay touches on important aspects of modern farming practices and their implications, showing an understanding of the topic.
Language Variety
You've attempted to use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas, which is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.