IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

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In fact, nowadays most countries face
to
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apply
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environmental damage which
are
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is
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 increasing every year. To my mind, there are some reasons
in particular
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, the human factor is one of the main reasons for
this
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. First of all, there are three types of environmental damage: loss of biodiversity, water pollution and global warming,
climate
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and climate
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changes
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change
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. We can opt
other
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for other
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 damages
such
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 as
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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,
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air
Correct word choice
and air
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 quality. As can be seen,
people
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 impact badly to environment. They pollute the ocean
, river
Correct word choice
and, river
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as a result
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loss
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lose
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 some animals and plants. We are cutting down trees by increasing the number of plants and factories so we can not understand these are not sustainable and renewable
resource
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resources
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. In fact, the human factor in society is too much, as technology develops, many living things have become extinct.
Second
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The second
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 point is that the one of main environmental
problem
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problems
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 is
air
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 pollution which refers
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to
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the release of pollutants into the
air
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—pollutants that are detrimental to human health and the planet as a whole.
Besides
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these addition
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this addition
these additions
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, most
air
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 pollution comes from production and energy use
such
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 as driving
car
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cars
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a
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apply
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gasoline,
home
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and home
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a
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apply
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heating with oil. In these
case
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cases
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,
a
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fossil fuel is burned and harmful gases
chemicals
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chemical
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, gases are released into the
air
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.
Additionally
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, when
people
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 destroy forests and try to improve cities, they forget that forests are the main source of oxygen. In conclusion,
people
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 should find
a
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an
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 eco-friendly remedy how how they can reduce environmental problems
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this
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during this
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 period of increasing environmental problems. We must decrease to use the
plastic
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of plastic
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 materials
also
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people
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 must
create
Verb problem
apply
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reduce, recycle and reuse resources, save water, save electricity waste not, want not. We must not forget that the society belongs to each of us, so we are in the same boat.

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas in a clearer, more logical structure to enhance understanding. Present arguments in a way that smoothly transitions from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your paragraphs with a clear topic sentence followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence to strengthen your argumentation.
task achievement
Increase the specificity of your examples to more effectively illustrate your arguments. Providing concrete instances or data can significantly strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Consider revisiting grammar and sentence structures for clarity and accuracy. Some errors distract from the overall message but can be improved with practice.
task achievement
You have presented a broad overview of the environmental issues, showing awareness of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, emphasizing the need for personal and collective action.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrialization
  • habitat destruction
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • overexploitation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable agriculture
  • recycling systems
  • international cooperation
  • conservation
What to do next:
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