IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of
city
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travel
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.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that driving vehicles like a
car
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 is the best way to
travel
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 in a
city
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, I would argue that using a bicycle is a better way. I will explain my reasons in
this
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 essay. There is no doubt that travelling by
car
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are
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is
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 faster than other transportation in busy urban areas.
This
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 is because a
car
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 is convenient and comfortable for
people
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 who would like to
travel
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 from one place to another.
Also
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, it can provide more passengers and carry any items with them.
For example
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, some
people
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 in Thailand normally go on holiday with their families by using a
car
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 which can carry heavy items with them during the trip.
As a result
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, cars can be convenient for more passengers like families and carry heavy loads,
while
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 they are travelling.
However
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, it is worth pointing out that cycling is the best way for
people
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 to
travel
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 in a
city
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.
This
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 is based on the fact that bicycles can improve
people
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’s health and environment when they
travel
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 in a
city
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.
Also
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, cycling is cost-effective and does not require additional expenses.
For instance
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, In Amsterdam,
people
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 who visit
this
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 country can use public bikes
while
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 they
travel
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 around the
city
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, and they do not pay for it.
This
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 can encourage
people
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 to get fit and improve the environment.
Consequently
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, using a bicycle is suitable for
city
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 residents. In conclusion, we can observe that a
car
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 can be beneficial for
people
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 who have large families and need to
travel
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 around the
city
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 regularly.
Overall
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, I firmly believe that
people
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 should use a bicycle to
travel
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 around the
city
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 because
this
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 can reduce pollution and improve their health.

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Examples
To further improve, aim to present a wider range of specific examples that directly support your points. These examples can help to strengthen your argument and make your ideas even more convincing.
Clear Positioning
For even clearer task achievement, explicitly state how each point relates to your main argument in the introduction and conclusion. This will help to make your position clearer throughout the essay.
Linking Words
To enhance your essay's structure, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to show clear transitions between ideas within and between paragraphs.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a strong structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that reiterates your main points.
Balanced Argument
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.
Use of Examples
Your use of examples, such as the situation in Thailand and Amsterdam, helps to ground your arguments in real-world scenarios, making them more relatable and persuasive.
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