IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #cars #travel #city #bicycle
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of
city
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that driving vehicles like a
car
Use synonyms
 is the best way to
travel
Use synonyms
 in a
city
Use synonyms
, I would argue that using a bicycle is a better way. I will explain my reasons in
this
Linking Words
 essay. There is no doubt that travelling by
car
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 faster than other transportation in busy urban areas.
This
Linking Words
 is because a
car
Use synonyms
 is convenient and comfortable for
people
Use synonyms
 who would like to
travel
Use synonyms
 from one place to another.
Also
Linking Words
, it can provide more passengers and carry any items with them.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 in Thailand normally go on holiday with their families by using a
car
Use synonyms
 which can carry heavy items with them during the trip.
As a result
Linking Words
, cars can be convenient for more passengers like families and carry heavy loads,
while
Linking Words
 they are travelling.
However
Linking Words
, it is worth pointing out that cycling is the best way for
people
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 in a
city
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is based on the fact that bicycles can improve
people
Use synonyms
’s health and environment when they
travel
Use synonyms
 in a
city
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, cycling is cost-effective and does not require additional expenses.
For instance
Linking Words
, In Amsterdam,
people
Use synonyms
 who visit
this
Linking Words
 country can use public bikes
while
Linking Words
 they
travel
Use synonyms
 around the
city
Use synonyms
, and they do not pay for it.
This
Linking Words
 can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to get fit and improve the environment.
Consequently
Linking Words
, using a bicycle is suitable for
city
Use synonyms
 residents. In conclusion, we can observe that a
car
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
 who have large families and need to
travel
Use synonyms
 around the
city
Use synonyms
 regularly.
Overall
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should use a bicycle to
travel
Use synonyms
 around the
city
Use synonyms
 because
this
Linking Words
 can reduce pollution and improve their health.
Submitted by v.mahatkomol on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Examples
To further improve, aim to present a wider range of specific examples that directly support your points. These examples can help to strengthen your argument and make your ideas even more convincing.
Clear Positioning
For even clearer task achievement, explicitly state how each point relates to your main argument in the introduction and conclusion. This will help to make your position clearer throughout the essay.
Linking Words
To enhance your essay's structure, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to show clear transitions between ideas within and between paragraphs.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a strong structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that reiterates your main points.
Balanced Argument
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.
Use of Examples
Your use of examples, such as the situation in Thailand and Amsterdam, helps to ground your arguments in real-world scenarios, making them more relatable and persuasive.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: