In many nations, it is becoming mandatory to receive vaccinations in order to prevent the spread of disease. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Many countries have made it compulsory for their
people
to take vaccines to combat certain disease
. There certain Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
disease
that Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
has
been eliminated from the earth because of vaccines Correct subject-verb agreement
have
for
example, smallpox. I think it Add the comma(s)
, for
is
a positive impact Verb problem
has
to
Change preposition
on
the
society because it helps to achieve herd Correct article usage
apply
immunity
and reduce complications
and death.
The herd
Correct article usage
Herd
immunity
will be achieved if majority
of the Add an article
the majority
a majority
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
are being
vaccinated and Wrong verb form
is
majority
means more than 85% of Correct article usage
the majority
population
and the more the better. The importance of herd Add an article
the population
immunity
is because there are certain type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
people
who are not able to take vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
due to
medical reasons for example
people
who are immunocompromised, such
as people
living with HIV, people
of chemotherapy, as well as
people
who are allergic to vaccine and its content and many more. When more people
are being immunised, it is harder for the disease
to spread.
In addition
, being vaccinated may help reduce risk
of getting severe Correct article usage
the risk
complications
and eventually death. Some people
might still contract certain disease
after being vaccinated but as we have already developed Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
certain
level of Add an article
a certain
immunity
against it
, the risk of getting very bad Correct pronoun usage
them
complications
is low. Certain disease
has very debilitating complications
, for example
, poliomyelitis can cause paralysis and limb deformity and this
will significantly reduce quality of life.
In conclusion, I believe it is beneficial for the countries to have made vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
a
mandatory because Correct article usage
apply
it
can help protect the weaker populations and lower the incidence of morbidity and mortality associated with the Correct pronoun usage
they
disease
.Submitted by shaz.777 on
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Structure
Work on varying your sentence structures to add complexity and flow to your paragraphs.
Language Usage
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to articulate your points more precisely and effectively.
Content
Consider adding more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Positioning
You've clearly stated your position, providing a strong introduction and conclusion that tie your argument together effectively.
Organization
Your essay logically organizes ideas, making it easy to follow your arguments about the benefits of mandatory vaccinations.
Example Usage
You effectively used relevant examples, such as smallpox eradication, to support your pro-vaccination stance.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite