The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.

The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.
The diagram describes the way of aluminium that can be recycled in special facilities for producing
cans
and plastic bottles.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the process consists of seven stages beginning with using
cans
and terminating with the delivery of the final products.
Moreover
, it is noteworthy that there are several stages,
such
as collecting, heating,and melting, that play a crucial role in making new
cans
.
To begin
with, plastic jars are used and thrown into the trash bottle by people. In the next stage, the
cans
are sorted from the rubbish after collecting by rubbish cars.
Besides
that, a collection of
cans
is heating and melting in special machines.
In particular
stages, afterwards
this
process has finished, the mixture of liquid is rolling at 2.5 or 6 mm thick. Following that, recycled products are ready for delivery to the supermarket.
Last
but not least,
finally
, they are bought by clients and the technique continues
thus
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cans with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • recycling process
  • aluminum cans
  • collection phase
  • sorting and cleaning
  • contaminants
  • crushing
  • melting phase
  • molded
  • energy efficiency
  • environmental benefits
  • economy
  • sustainable practices
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