Some people think that children should not watch television, because it has negative effects, while others believe it helps children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
nowadays watching
television
is an inherent activity for kids
. Some people argue that exposure to television
screens affects offspring negatively, despite others considering otherwise
. This
essay will analyze both perspectives about television
as an example of interactive media available for kids
and discuss a positive outcome along with
it.
First of all, people believe that watching television
for children
contributes to a negative routine. Habits of watching television
for a long time at an early age without parents' supervision can alter children
's personalities to be aggressive. For instance
, a study shows that youngsters who watch television
for more than 4 hours a day tend to have the possibility to lose control of their emotions. Thus
, early introduction to television
with unlimited time screens leads to a setback for children
's behaviour development.
However
, others state that television
is an interactive media for kids
to study. it
is because Correct pronoun usage
This
television
programs introduce many kinds of shows for all ages with an interactive audio-visual approach, including for educational purposes. For example
, a cartoon such
as Dora The Explorer becomes an intermediary for kids
to learn the names of equipment. Furthermore
, with parents' supervision, the maximum usage of TV as a medium to gain knowledge is sure to be achieved.
In conclusion, television
for offspring can increase the possibility of offspring having unwanted behaviour but it is not solely the case for children
to be completely prevented from accessing it. I personally believe parents' guidance and supervision are essential parts of ensuring that television
is still useful as a medium to study. Therefore
, the existence of television
for children
is a great learning source even though with several restrictions.Submitted by imsarunn on
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Task Response
To improve Task Response, ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While your essay discussed both views and included your opinion as the task required, consider expanding on your opinion with more depth or justification to enhance completeness.
Task Achievement
Clarify your ideas by developing your body paragraphs more. Each main point should be explained thoroughly and followed by appropriate examples or evidence. Integrate more specific examples to substantiate your points and to achieve a higher score in Task Achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion aligning with the requirements, which is good for the coherence and cohesion criterion. To refine further, use a wider range of cohesive devices to seamlessly connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the coherence of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph are cohesively linked to that central idea. This will strengthen the logical structure of your essay and boost the Coherence and Cohesion score.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?