Some people think that children should not watch television, because it has negative effects, while others believe it helps children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #television #effects

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nowadays watching

television

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is an inherent activity for

kids

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. Some people argue that exposure to

television

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screens affects offspring negatively, despite others considering

otherwise

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This

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essay will analyze both perspectives about

television

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as an example of interactive media available for

kids

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and discuss a positive outcome

along with

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it. First of all, people believe that watching

television

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for

children

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contributes to a negative routine. Habits of watching

television

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for a long time at an early age without parents' supervision can alter

children

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's personalities to be aggressive.

For instance

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, a study shows that youngsters who watch

television

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for more than 4 hours a day tend to have the possibility to lose control of their emotions.

Thus

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, early introduction to

television

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with unlimited time screens leads to a setback for

children

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's behaviour development.

However

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, others state that

television

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is an interactive media for

kids

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to study.

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

is because

television

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programs introduce many kinds of shows for all ages with an interactive audio-visual approach, including for educational purposes.

For example

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, a cartoon

such

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as Dora The Explorer becomes an intermediary for

kids

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to learn the names of equipment.

Furthermore

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, with parents' supervision, the maximum usage of TV as a medium to gain knowledge is sure to be achieved. In conclusion,

television

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for offspring can increase the possibility of offspring having unwanted behaviour but it is not solely the case for

children

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to be completely prevented from accessing it. I personally believe parents' guidance and supervision are essential parts of ensuring that

television

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is still useful as a medium to study.

Therefore

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, the existence of

television

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for

children

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is a great learning source even though with several restrictions.

Submitted by imsarunn on Fri Feb 02 2024

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Task Response

To improve Task Response, ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While your essay discussed both views and included your opinion as the task required, consider expanding on your opinion with more depth or justification to enhance completeness.

Task Achievement

Clarify your ideas by developing your body paragraphs more. Each main point should be explained thoroughly and followed by appropriate examples or evidence. Integrate more specific examples to substantiate your points and to achieve a higher score in Task Achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion aligning with the requirements, which is good for the coherence and cohesion criterion. To refine further, use a wider range of cohesive devices to seamlessly connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the coherence of the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph are cohesively linked to that central idea. This will strengthen the logical structure of your essay and boost the Coherence and Cohesion score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Some people think that children should not watch television, because it has negative effects, while others believe it helps children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Do you think that ocean exploration is as important as space exploration?

People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

Nowadays, artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?