People should stop using their mobile phones when they are with other people. How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

In
this
day and age, the importance of banning cell
phones
when
people
are hanging out which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many
people
claiming that it is beneficial
while
others reject
this
notion. From my point of view, I totally disagree with
this
statement.
Instead
, it is of utmost importance that mobile can facilitate conversation with shared experiences and connections
while
people
can check messages regularly with a view to not missing vital information.
To begin
with,
phones
will become a must-have tool for humans to communicate because they can share different contexts with it.
For instance
, when we are meeting someone who is not familiar with it,
people
tend to keep quiet and speak less. It is difficult for
people
to generate certain interest topics.
As a result
, the whole conversation would be embarrassing.
Nevertheless
, if we use
phones
to share photos or news, it can engender different contexts to discuss. Once we pick up a topic that others may
also
interested in, the communication will be amazing.
Although
people
claim that
phones
may detract the time with others, they actually enhance our social interaction if we use them properly.
In addition
, smart is essential for individuals to receive various types of information, be it work-related, family-related or friend-related. The development of technology shortens the distance between
people
so we can know what is happening no matter where we are. To illustrate, in the past,
people
could not chat easily. It
also
means if some accidents happen, they cannot know it as soon as possible.
Nonetheless
,
people
can share facts by using the internet. Even if their parents or friends have urgent issues, they can discover them sooner and help them. In conclusion, I believe that the aforementioned points strongly support my viewpoint. Not only are mobile
phones
helpful in chatting, but they
also
provide a quick method for mankind to know what are the things happening around us.
Submitted by hhhakfatkiu on

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Introduction
Ensure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction to provide a clear stance from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try using a wider range of linking devices to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs.
Grammar and Lexical Resource
Incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Task Response
While your examples are relevant, aiming for more specific and detailed examples would strengthen your arguments further.
Task Response
You've done a great job at clearly outlining your argument and maintaining a consistent viewpoint throughout your essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've managed to structure your essay in a logical manner that is easy to follow.
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