In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside a company and not to someone outside the company or new hiring. What is your opinion on this?

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Some people argue that
employee
advancement to higher
role
ought to be granted from within the
company
, not people recruited from outside of the
company
. I think there are various reasons for the employer will be given and explain in the following essay.
To begin
with, it does sound unfair for the
company
to not be willing to provide opportunities for their old
employee
. because they have long period in that office
instead
of others employees, as they known about all of things and related with their field
role
.
However
, It depend on the employers that look their capabilities for higher
positions
. If the
company
have not seen your abilities for responsible that
role
, might be chosen talented person becomes priority
instead
of staff advancement to high
positions
.
Furthermore
, select people for inside the
company
makes work place environment as toxic because the staffs
company
try to hypocrite image for getting a powered posision.
Therefore
, selecting
employee
from outside is a advantages for the
company
while
getting a potential staff with related experience and
role
with that
role
also
gives positive advised about their knowledges or improvements in that
positions
from the new comers when they join the
company
.
Next,
the new
employee
get respect from thier subordinates
while
employee
inside the
company
who promoted from the boss might be disrespectful from their coworker when his become a supervisor. In conclusion, all of
this
depends on the
company
with all considerations to choose supervisor from inside or outside the
company
with all these advantages and disvantages.
However
, if there's no candidate for take opportunity to get high
positions
. Recruitment outside the workplace are inevitable.
Submitted by fiez97 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but the response is not fully developed. You should expand your ideas with more detailed examples and explanations to better support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The logical progression of ideas could be improved. It's important to organize your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction includes a clear thesis statement indicating your opinion on the topic. The conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.
task achievement
Include specific examples that are directly relevant to your main points to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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