Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. What extend do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that the government should pay attention to reducing environmental
pollution
and solving problems
to prevent disasters such
as illness and disease. This
writer agrees with the statement and will discuss it below.
The essential point can be recognized
that illness comes from Wrong verb form
is
pollution
. In many high-pollution
areas, the local citizens always suffer from a variety of illnesses affecting their lungs and stomachs. As we can see, when marine species live in polluted rivers and seas, they can be poisoned, and humans can be ill when they eat their poisoned food. Moreover
, if the government does not concentrate on decreasing environmental problems
by solving industry waste in the environment,.
Another point is that air Change the punctuation
,
.
pollution
is not only bad for one area
, but it also
causes damage to another area
. For example
, air pollution
can move to another area
and make that area
polluted, and increase the risk of illness. When residents’
Change noun form
residents
breath
in a poisonous atmosphere, their lungs will be poisoned, and they will suffer from lung disorders; Replace the word
breathe
moreover
, cancer can appear in their cells, so it has dangerous effects on their survivors. In consequence, the higher the level of pollution
, the more people can die if the government does not take any action to solve these problems
.
In conclusion, humans' health can be dangerously affected by pollutants, so governments have to pay attention to solving pollution
problems
.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Content Completion
To advance your essay, ensure every paragraph is fully developed. The segment about housing problems, mentioned in the topic, wasn't explored, which could enrich your argument.
Example Specificity
Include more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or international comparisons that demonstrate the impacts of pollution on health.
Cohesion Enhancement
To enhance cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases. While the structure of your essay is clear, more sophisticated connectors could elevate the flow of ideas.
Argument Development
Consider briefly acknowledging the opposite viewpoint to provide a more balanced argument. This can demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue, enriching your essay's depth.
Clarity of Position
Your essay provides a clear stance on the given topic, effectively outlining the importance of addressing environmental pollution to prevent illness.
Structural Organization
The structure of your essay, including the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, creates a logical and easy-to-follow argument.
Use of Examples
You successfully integrate relevant examples to support your points, particularly the connection between pollution and health outcomes, which strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.