(VMN)Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that preventing disease and illness requires a solution for declining environmental pollution and housing issues from the government. The writer contends that the urgent call of the
government's
Change the noun form
governments
government
show examples
is essential to alert the citizens and, together, solve existing problems
such
as polluted
water
or housing pressure. It is undeniable that a part of the world's
water
has been polluted in recent years.
Water
pollution, which is a basic human necessity, has a serious impact on people's health. It is shown that
water
is the main source of many dangerous
water
-borne diseases,
such
as Ebola. Without a proper guide, an individual's health can worsen and even lead to death.
Due to
that, the government is responsible for dealing with the unprocessed waste poured down the rivers by the factories.
Moreover
, it is needed to enhance citizens’ awareness of putting litter in trash bins and not littering, especially in streams and rivers. These actions,
therefore
, can limit the potential for suffering from some relevant dangerous diseases
as well as
improve the inhabitants’ lives. Another point worth considering is in terms of housing. The significant rise in population has led to the problem of overlooking sanity in the workplace and living places. Following the hustle and bustle in many cities, city dwellers likely spend less time paying attention to the sanitized level in their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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.
This
results in the formation of an unclean and messy environment where thousands of deadly bacteria are hiding, ready to give the victim a chance to get a dangerous illness.
Hence
, having a sanity restriction and encouraging residents to keep their living places tidy
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
essential.
To sum up
, recent developments have altered the living environment, causing more issues that profoundly influence daily life.
Thus
, the government’s attention and action are crucial to alleviating these troubles and improving the inhabitants' health.
Submitted by zky1705202 on

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Introduction Clarity
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Cohesive Devices
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Specific Examples
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Grammar and Spelling
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Structure
Your essay presents a well-structured argument that explores significant aspects of the topic, showing strong coherence and cohesion.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points, reinforcing your stance and offering a comprehensive closure.
Content Relevance
You have done well in linking the government's role to the public health implications of environmental issues, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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