(VMN)Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that preventing disease and illness requires a solution for declining environmental pollution and housing issues from the government. The writer contends that the urgent call of the
government's
is essential to alert the citizens and, together, solve existing problems Change the noun form
governments
government
such
as polluted Linking Words
water
or housing pressure.
It is undeniable that a part of the world's Use synonyms
water
has been polluted in recent years. Use synonyms
Water
pollution, which is a basic human necessity, has a serious impact on people's health. It is shown that Use synonyms
water
is the main source of many dangerous Use synonyms
water
-borne diseases, Use synonyms
such
as Ebola. Without a proper guide, an individual's health can worsen and even lead to death. Linking Words
Due to
that, the government is responsible for dealing with the unprocessed waste poured down the rivers by the factories. Linking Words
Moreover
, it is needed to enhance citizens’ awareness of putting litter in trash bins and not littering, especially in streams and rivers. These actions, Linking Words
therefore
, can limit the potential for suffering from some relevant dangerous diseases Linking Words
as well as
improve the inhabitants’ lives.
Another point worth considering is in terms of housing. The significant rise in population has led to the problem of overlooking sanity in the workplace and living places. Following the hustle and bustle in many cities, city dwellers likely spend less time paying attention to the sanitized level in their Linking Words
house
. Fix the agreement mistake
houses
This
results in the formation of an unclean and messy environment where thousands of deadly bacteria are hiding, ready to give the victim a chance to get a dangerous illness. Linking Words
Hence
, having a sanity restriction and encouraging residents to keep their living places tidy Linking Words
are
essential.
Change the verb form
is
To sum up
, recent developments have altered the living environment, causing more issues that profoundly influence daily life. Linking Words
Thus
, the government’s attention and action are crucial to alleviating these troubles and improving the inhabitants' health.Linking Words
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Introduction Clarity
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the view you will be taking on the topic. Providing a succinct thesis statement will help to make your stance clearer from the beginning.
Cohesive Devices
Increase the range of cohesive devices used within and between paragraphs to better link ideas and improve flow. This can include more varied conjunctions and discourse markers.
Specific Examples
Enhance the precision of your arguments by including more specific examples and data where possible. This strengthens your case and makes your essay more convincing.
Grammar and Spelling
Remember to proofread your text for minor grammatical errors and typing mistakes to enhance overall clarity and professionalism.
Structure
Your essay presents a well-structured argument that explores significant aspects of the topic, showing strong coherence and cohesion.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points, reinforcing your stance and offering a comprehensive closure.
Content Relevance
You have done well in linking the government's role to the public health implications of environmental issues, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?