IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, newspapers and televisions are giving detailed descriptions on crimes. Some people believe such a practice will cause bad consequences and thus media should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, newspapers and digital
media
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 frequently provide detailed accounts of serious
crimes
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. Some people argue that
this
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 practice can have harmful consequences and that
media
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 reporting should be restricted. I strongly agree with
this
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 view because
such
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coverage
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 can severely impact the mental health of victims’
families
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 and may inadvertently encourage criminal
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 among the public.
Firstly
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, extensive
coverage
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 of
crimes
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 can have a devastating effect on the
families
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 of victims. Each time relatives read or hear vivid descriptions of the incident, they may involuntarily relive the tragedy, which can lead to anxiety, nightmares, and difficulty sleeping.
For instance
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, interviews with
families
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 of murder victims often reveal that repeated exposure to
media
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 accounts intensifies their grief and prevents them from emotionally recovering.
Such
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 psychological distress can affect their daily lives, work performance, and social relationships, creating long-term consequences.
Secondly
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, detailed reporting of
crimes
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 can unintentionally provide a “how-to” guide for potential offenders. When people are exposed to the motives, methods, and outcomes of violent acts, some may be influenced to replicate them, believing that
such
Linking Words
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 is effective or justified. Research has indicated that following the release of popular true-crime documentaries, certain regions experienced a temporary increase in copycat
offenses
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offences
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, suggesting a direct link between
media
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coverage
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 and criminal
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. In conclusion, excessive
media
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coverage
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 of
crimes
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 can pose a serious threat to society by exacerbating the trauma of victims’
families
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 and potentially inspiring criminal acts.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that responsible reporting, with appropriate restrictions, is necessary to protect both individuals and the broader community.

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coherence cohesion
Make the idea start with a clear view, then add the fact or example. Use a simple flow from one idea to the next with small join words like and, but, also.
task response
In the task part, be sure to fully answer the question. Say why you agree and give clear proof. Keep your view easy to see.
strength
Clear stance and direct view
strength
Good use of connect words such as firstly, secondly, in conclusion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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