Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that the solution to prevent illness and disease is that governments should concentrate on facilitating environmental issues and housing problems. Personally, I agree with the statement and
this
essay proves it.
Since the issues of pollution and housing are increasing leading to the explosion of disease, it is understandable why the authorities have to solve problems Linking Words
such
as the environment, and housing areas. Linking Words
To begin
with, it can reduce the percentage of Linking Words
viruses
in an area by organizing a campaign to clean, and improve the quality of the area. The more filthy the areas are, the more Use synonyms
viruses
can be contained. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, filthy places tend to make insects that can cause diseases to increase Linking Words
such
as flies, and cockroaches. Linking Words
As a result
, the percentage of infection may be reduced Linking Words
due to
the benefits of the campaign that the authorities organized.
There is another advantage of solving environmental pollution is that it makes the quality of living improve significantly as there are not any good conditions for the Linking Words
viruses
to live. By encouraging the residents about the knowledge of the diseases, they can help the government to prevent Use synonyms
the
infection Correct article usage
apply
as well as
protect themselves from illness. Linking Words
Besides
that, they can educate their children so as to clean their rooms. Linking Words
Consequently
, the residents enhance their knowledge about the diseases, potentially leading to a good lifestyle.
In conclusion, I agree that the government should pay attention to reducing the environmental and housing problems to improve the quality of life and facilitate the percentage of Linking Words
viruses
that can lead to infection.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This will make your ideas more convincing and grounded in reality.
Coherence and Cohesion
Using a wider range of linking words and transitions could help improve the coherence and fluency of your essay. Exploring different connectors can enrich your writing style.
Task Achievement
Consider developing your ideas further by discussing potential counter-arguments and addressing them. This can add depth to your essay and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You effectively conveyed your agreement with the statement and maintained a consistent stance throughout the essay.