Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that the solution to prevent illness and disease is that governments should concentrate on facilitating environmental issues and housing problems. Personally, I agree with the statement and
this
essay proves it.
Since the issues of pollution and housing are increasing leading to the explosion of disease, it is understandable why the authorities have to solve problems such
as the environment, and housing areas. To begin
with, it can reduce the percentage of viruses
in an area by organizing a campaign to clean, and improve the quality of the area. The more filthy the areas are, the more viruses
can be contained. Furthermore
, filthy places tend to make insects that can cause diseases to increase such
as flies, and cockroaches. As a result
, the percentage of infection may be reduced due to
the benefits of the campaign that the authorities organized.
There is another advantage of solving environmental pollution is that it makes the quality of living improve significantly as there are not any good conditions for the viruses
to live. By encouraging the residents about the knowledge of the diseases, they can help the government to prevent the
infection Correct article usage
apply
as well as
protect themselves from illness. Besides
that, they can educate their children so as to clean their rooms. Consequently
, the residents enhance their knowledge about the diseases, potentially leading to a good lifestyle.
In conclusion, I agree that the government should pay attention to reducing the environmental and housing problems to improve the quality of life and facilitate the percentage of viruses
that can lead to infection.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This will make your ideas more convincing and grounded in reality.
Coherence and Cohesion
Using a wider range of linking words and transitions could help improve the coherence and fluency of your essay. Exploring different connectors can enrich your writing style.
Task Achievement
Consider developing your ideas further by discussing potential counter-arguments and addressing them. This can add depth to your essay and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You effectively conveyed your agreement with the statement and maintained a consistent stance throughout the essay.