Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In order to prevent
illness
and
disease
,
people
should reduce environmental pollution and
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
problem
is a difficult issue worldwide.It is the opinion of
this
writer that
people
should focus on preventing
illness
and
disease
. It is vital to understand that
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
illness
and
disease
.
Due to
the fact that
people
will die of
illness
and
disease
if they do not prepare for
disaster
Add an article
a disaster
show examples
of humanity,
also
people
in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generation can get more problems from the first.
Therefore
,
people
should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
of
illness
and
disease
to protect their health before they
recognized
Wrong verb form
recognise
show examples
it. Another key component of the case for focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.It should be self-evident that
people
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
aware
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
these factors because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can cause
financia
Correct your spelling
financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
for
people
.In
this
situation,
people
need to solve the environmental
problem
to decrease it in the air by
plan
Correct your spelling
planting
show examples
more trees and
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycling
show examples
rubbish.
About
Change preposition
Regarding
show examples
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
problem
,
people
in all
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
should have a timetable to work more easily and increase
the
Change the word
their
show examples
connection with others.
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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, make sure that each paragraph has a clear main point that is directly related to answering the question. This can be achieved by outlining your essay before you start writing.
coherence cohesion
Work on crafting a more specific and clear introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This helps in setting the stage for a cohesive and logically structured discussion.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will help in making your arguments more compelling and concrete.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by explaining the relationship between reducing environmental pollution, housing problems, and preventing illness. Make sure your points are interconnected to provide a complete response to the essay question.
task achievement
Your essay touches on important points such as environmental pollution, housing problems, and their impact on health. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an awareness of the necessity to prevent illness and disease, which is fundamental to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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