Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

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this

Linking Words

modern era, the issue of

health

Use synonyms

is something which bears some consideration. Some people believe that

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

state should develop initiatives to improve environmental pollution and address housing issues which have contributed to the deterioration of public strength. As far as I am concerned, I am on the same wavelength with them on

this

Linking Words

matter because of better living conditions and healthier life for individuals. It is an undeniable fact that the environmental pollution problem is more and more serious, and its effects on humans, animals, and vegetation alike can be grave and irreparable.

As a result

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this

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problem has a long-term negative effect on both physical and mental

health

Use synonyms

Moreover

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, hundreds of lives are claimed in the world

due to

Linking Words

people’s daily activities – those related to the degradation of the environment.

For instance

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, today’s farmers are no strangers to the practice of overdosing the farmlands with pesticides and insecticides.

Besides

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that, countless factories are poisoning the water with toxic refuse and environmentally unfriendly chemicals.

Hence

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, it is necessary for

ministry

Correct article usage

the ministry

show examples

and residents to effort

stopping

Wrong verb form

to stop

show examples

these activities and save the majority of people from unnecessary diseases. Another point to consider is that housing problems should be properly addressed in order to combat disease, especially in areas that contain loads of bacteria and pathogens

such

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as plentiful accommodations and slums. Indeed, these densely populated neighbourhoods become the breeding grounds for disease vectors,

such

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as mosquitoes and fleas.

Therefore

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, if governments put more emphasis on mitigating environmental issues and housing dilemmas,

such

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problems will be alleviated to a great extent.

Nevertheless

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, simply focusing on environmental and housing complications is not an effective way to combat all illnesses. It is imperative to concede alongside these efforts, the government should prioritize raising public awareness and implementing educational programs.

Furthermore

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, the promotion of robust lifestyles can encourage people to adopt healthy habits. To illustrate, a campaign in Ho Chi Minh City Vietnam called upon the local citizens to incorporate a daily 30 minute-morning walk into their routines.

Consequently

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, the participants reported noticeable improvements in their mental and physical

health

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In other words

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, by enriching the population’s knowledge about

health

Use synonyms

and prompting them to a more active lifestyle, the government not only lowers disease-related mortality rates but

also

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eases the burden on its healthcare system. Taking all points into account, it is pivotal for

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

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to come up with initiatives to tackle obstacles posed by pollution and housing inefficiency in order to improve the population’s fitness.

However

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, the underlying problems are not limited to those conundrums and the population itself

also

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plays a crucial role.

Mon Apr 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph is clearly structured around one main idea for improved clarity.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and data to support your arguments for a stronger impact.

coherence cohesion

Consider a more varied use of linking words and transitions to enable smoother flow between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Use paragraphs to logically separate your arguments, enhancing the overall readability.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your argument well.

task achievement

You effectively address the task, providing a balanced view with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well-supported and contribute to the overall cohesion of the text.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

433 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that economic development is the only way to end world poverty. However, others argue that economic growth is causing environmental problems and should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Write about the following topic. Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe research on previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on present and future generation.discuss both views and show your opinion.