Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many assumptions about the governments should toward alleviating the problems in living conditions and contaminated environment with the aim of preventing
such
ailments. From the writer’s experience, it is believed that these procedures should be operated by the governments in
order
to avoid the economic recession and maintain the
demand
for supply. It must be acknowledged that if the government takes part in prohibiting the major fundamental leading to
such
illness, the economy will be maintained.
In other words
, the financial aspect of a particular country majorly depends on the co-workers, which means if there were any deficits in the quantity of work, a plethora of problems would have occurred.
As a result
, the warranty of health in
such
people is equivalent to the guarantee of avoiding economic recession, in which way the finances of a country can be preserved. Take Vietnam as a prime example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, the parliament invested a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of expenses in
order
to support the workers from every company in
order
to avoid the downwards in both medical and financial terms. Another point worth mentioning is that avoiding illness is a way to sustain the
demand
of supply of the citizens. Specifically, the increment in demands for living conditions in many aspects
such
as entertainment or consumption must be paralleled with the supplement sources, if there are not any practical solutions for curing diseases, the unbalance of the
demand
and supply will leave a detrimental effect on the living circumstance of the citizen.
Consequently
, struggling against
such
ailments can maintain the harmony between demands and supplies.
This
is true in China, the rising proportion of patients has left governments taking action to cope with
such
issues in
order
to prohibit the prospect of lacking supplements for daily use. In conclusion, the parliament should be involved in mitigating the effects of harmful components that can lead to
such
ailments, after which the downfall of the economy and deficit in
demand
of supply can be neglected.
Hence
,
this
essay has provided evidence to support the given opinion.

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task achievement
Focus on providing a clear thesis statement at the beginning to guide your argument.
coherence cohesion
Aim to integrate more varied sentence structures to enhance readability.
task achievement
Be cautious with word choice to avoid repetition and enhance clarity.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs with more specific examples and clearer topic sentences to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider employing linking phrases more effectively to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provided relevant examples to support arguments.
coherence cohesion
Organized essay into paragraphs with distinct ideas.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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