Describe one of the recent or historical events that is important in your country? How will people learn from that event?

#events #country #people #event

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One of the big events in

Thailand

Use synonyms

for me is

Covid

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19. There are many things happened in

this

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event and Thai

people

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have to live in

this

Linking Words

situation

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for years until we find a solution to solve it. Nowadays, there is still Corona virus but the

disease

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now weaker than before so, we can use our normal daily lives today. In

this

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essay, I will discuss what happened in

Thailand

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and what

people

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learned from

Covid

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19.

First,

Linking Words

in 2019, Coronavirus came to

Thailand

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and made

people

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fear

this

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disease

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. Many

people

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do not have knowledge about the

disease

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for example

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, how to cope with, treat and treat the

disease

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and there is no vaccine to prevent it yet. Not only cope with the

disease

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but

also

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people

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had to stay at home and the country had a lockdown so, so

people

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could not go out and do their

work

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like normal life.

Moreover

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people

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who had their own businesses were falling down and these were reasons why

people

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got more fear and depression.

Second,

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in my

situation

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, my occupation is a musician and my

work

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was playing a concert at night time. In

Thailand

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, there is a curfew that

people

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cannot go out at night so, I had to stop working for years. How musicians live without working. My luck was my family supporting me but there many musicians have to sell their instruments for money to live. Not long after that, the Thai music industry found a solution to help musicians by creating online concerts so,

people

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would be able to watch concerts at home via many

platforms

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that growing up in

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Covid-19

Correct article usage

the Covid-19

show examples

situation

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Finally

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on the other hand

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, there many businesses and new things were growing up during

Covid

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such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

online

platforms

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, food delivery, and more.

People

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found their way to live in

this

Linking Words

situation

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For example

Linking Words

, working on online

platforms

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, selling products online, and more. For me, I found many ways to live in the

COVID

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-19

situation

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. I am entranced with studying master’s degree at Mahidol University, the course

work

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was learning on online

platforms

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, and

also

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working in my home music studio I can create music on

platforms

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online

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram so, these solutions help me feel enjoy and not stress to the

Covid

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situation

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. In conclusion,

people

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learn many things from

Covid

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19.

For example

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, learned how to manage my free time, and how to

work

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on the online platform, and some

people

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had new businesses. On

this

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day, I see Thai

people

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can come back from the

Covid

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19 and have their new ways of living.

Submitted by neungsaharat on Wed Aug 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words or phrases to link your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly. This will help guide the reader through your essay and make your arguments clearer.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score in task response, try to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point you make. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that your examples directly support the points you are making. This will help make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the discussion on how COVID-19 has impacted Thailand and its people.

task achievement

You provided specific examples from your own experience, which adds depth and personalization to your essay.

task achievement

The essay covers several aspects of how people adapted to the pandemic, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

441 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

national unity
democratic values
governance
sacrifices
legal system
policies
social reforms
economic reforms
commemorated
public ceremonies
educational programs

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Describe one of the recent or historical events that is important in your country? How will people learn from that event?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the government, while others think it should be the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people think that a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight, others think it should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The effective way to reduce industrial pollution is to tax the companies that cause them. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.