Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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If people were to agree on the most fearful threat to human
health
, it would be likely disease.
Health
care plays a crucial role in individuals’ lives. I strongly believe that
health
conditions should be diagnosed by expert doctors for accurate diagnosis,
while
homemade remedies can contribute to serious problems. On the one hand, self-diagnosis can contribute to grave consequences as most people don’t possess the required knowledge and are not trained, which is one of the many reasons why alternative medicines are not reliable.
Such
treatments can not only cause severe side effects but
also
hinder natural progress, potentially leading to organ failure and death.
However
, there are few advantages to alternative medicines, it is far more economical as there is no need to buy costly medications,
therefore
, it is preferred by some individuals.
On the other hand
, in my perspective, it is more logical to follow a specialist’s
health
advice
hence
, they have acquired numerous studies on essential fields and use proper requirements to assess thoroughly the symptoms and diagnose a myriad of issues.
Accordingly
, prescribed medicines rely on evidence-based research;
therefore
, they are subjected to restricted regulatory standards.
For instance
, advancements in medical research have led to the development of effective treatments for conditions
such
as HIV/AIDS, turning what was once a fatal disease into a manageable chronic condition for many patients. In conclusion, alternative remedies cannot be trusted as they are associated with risks that can endanger human lives,
whereas
licensed
health
practitioners are better equipped to help us overcome various illnesses.
Submitted by mwoodman2 on

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task achievement
While you have given a relevant introduction and conclusion, consider specifying more examples in your body paragraphs to strengthen your arguments and achieve a higher score.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the logical flow of your essay for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a well-supported conclusion, which helps in effectively presenting your viewpoint.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and elaborated on the key points regarding why people might turn to alternative medicines and why it can be dangerous.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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