Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertaiment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed among parents that their kids must read only non-fiction
books
and reading fiction
books
is a waste of time. I'm afraid I have to disagree with
this
statement because entertainment novels can educate their characters well and teach them to
dream
, which is essential.
Firstly
, I should emphasize here that simply entertaining
books
are
also
important for their role in educating
children
's manner and character. Unlikely scientific and non-fiction
books
, fiction stories educate kids'
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
in a sample of their characters and heroes. When you are reading about good and bad, heroes and wizards, you start to hate jealousness, envy, and unkindness and love bravery, kindness, and intelligence. Remembering my childhood, I can feel
this
better. My father brought me tale
books
regularly.
Secondly
, fictional and fantastic
books
teach
children
how to
dream
. In the psychologists' opinion, it is very crucial for kids. A child who always reads scientific
books
may know many things, but he cannot learn how to live and how to socialize. Fantasy opens the doors of dreams,
while
science blocks
children
's creativity.
For example
, in China, they restricted fiction and fantastic
books
and literature during the period of Mao Ce Dun. Later it affected the number of inventions. Specialists say that those who cannot
dream
and think creatively, are simply not able to discover. In conclusion,
while
many parents think that it is better to read just serious educational
books
rather than tales and entertaining
books
, I cannot agree with
this
opinion. Our
children
must not learn what is life, but they have to learn how to live and how to
dream
at an early age.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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Structure
You presented a well-structured argument with a clear introduction and conclusion. To further improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is fully developed.
Cohesion
Including more varied sentence structures and transitions would enrich the text's coherence. Aim for smooth and logical connections between your ideas.
Supporting Examples
When providing examples, aim to include more detailed and specific instances that directly support your argument. This will enhance the impact and credibility of your points.
Argument Clarity
You've effectively communicated your disagreement with the prompt and provided a compelling rationale for your views.
Use of Examples
The use of personal anecdotes and broader societal examples enriches the narrative and provides a strong basis for your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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