IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of using computers for learning outweigh its disadvantages?

#computers #part #school #lessons
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In today's world
computers
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 are not only essential for
schools
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 but
also
Linking Words
 an integral part of all departmental work. It is a truthful saying that if a person does not have basic knowledge of
computers
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 he would be considered illiterate. Nowadays it is compulsory for
schools
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 to teach
computers
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 as a subject in all classes.
Schools
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 should have professional instructors
for teaching
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to teach
show examples
computer
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 knowledge and technology. If we talk about the recent scenario about the penetration of
computers
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 in our
life
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lives
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, if
schools
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 are not focused on
computer
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 learning, kids would not only be prevented from technology but
also
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 faced laking of futuristic skills. I think the government should have to provide all the facilities to
schools
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 so that they would be able to
to
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apply
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train our children in
computer
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 skills. In
this
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regardstouch
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regard
 parents should play their role
while
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 in touch with the institutions and be aware of teaching methods adopted by
schools
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. They should put their suggestions about enhancing the quality of
education
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 in
computers
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.
Furthermore
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, We can not revoke the changes which happening day by day through mobile phones and
also
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 a kind of
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Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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computer
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computers
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. But we could use them for the latest
informations
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information
pieces of information
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. There are many apps available which provide basic information about technology.
Moreover
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, IT
education
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 has changed the minds of teachers
as well as
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 parents, who always put pressure on their kids to join medical and engineering fields. Now we have different types of IT
education
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 and it is very easy for a
computer
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-skilled student to do any job anywhere in the world without physical presence. I conclude with the statement that
computer
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education
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 is not only necessary at school but should
also
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 be at a higher level. Authorities should have played a vital role in building a generation who have the ability to compete in the world with their technology-based skills and be a part of their country's development.
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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grammar
Maintain consistency in verb tenses to ensure clarity throughout your essay.
structure
Use paragraphs effectively to separate ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, introduced by a topic sentence.
content
Try to include a more balanced discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages of computer use in education, as the task requires evaluating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
language usage
Be cautious with spelling and grammar to maintain professionalism and clarity in your argument.
content
You've successfully highlighted the importance of computer education, emphasizing its necessity.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, reinforcing the significance of computer education.
examples
Use of specific examples and scenarios enriches your essay, making your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Edutainment
  • Multimedia resources
  • E-learning platforms
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Ergonomic hazards
  • Cognitive overload
  • Technological proficiency
  • Blended learning environments
  • Instructional technology
  • Adaptive software
  • Screen time management
What to do next:
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