Some people believe that life in a large city is becoming more and more arduous, while the life in villages is much more beneficial. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The twenty-first century is said to be the century of
competition
because of rising competition
leading to the believe
that living in villages is much more beneficial than it is in large cities. I somewhat agree with Replace the word
belief
this
statement, to support my claim I will try to provide supporting evidence for the same by comparing both lifestyles.
Discussing villages, farming is the primary profession that comes to mind in rural populations. Farmer's life is said to be easy but they have their own struggles and challenges to deal with. For instance
, In order to cultivate vegetable produce; many take huge loans by giving assurance to the bank to repay from the earning of produce, for which farmers have to rely on weather leading to a huge risk of losing everything in the process. Furthermore
, It is true that they have a low cost of living because of a lack of facilities and opportunities for careers because of which the media
have shown evidence of a rise in suicides.
On the other hand
, While
discussing cities primarily indicates working in corporate sectors, Where the city is known for their vast amount of opportunities which creates Correct word choice
apply
competition
, working under high pressure, higher bills and cost of living. Constant competition
requires constant growth and if one fails to do so, it creates a constant fear of losing a job; and leading again towards suicide.
In conclusion, It can be said everyone has their own risks and benefits but saying that one is easier than the other would be unwise. Where the corporate individual can be saved by the reward of
a big salary it
comes with the constant fear of losing a job and losing everything with it Correct pronoun usage
apply
due to
the high cost of living. Similarly
, the farmer grows a
produce living with the constant fear of producing low and not being able to earn to produce another year's yield.Remove the article
apply
Submitted by nycnick995 on
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Style
Continue to use comparative structure effectively to contrast life in villages and cities, as it helps in clear presentation of your views.
Structure
For even clearer coherence, consider using more distinct paragraphing to separate points about village life, city life, and your overall conclusion.
Language
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express comparisons and consequences more vividly, enhancing the overall linguistic quality.
Grammar
Ensure consistent use of tenses and accurate article use ('the farmer's life' instead of 'Farmer's life') for grammatical accuracy.
Content
Effective use of real-life situations and examples to support your arguments.
Task Achievement
Good job maintaining a balanced view throughout the essay, providing a fair comparison of both lifestyles.
Coherence and Cohesion
Well-structured argument that leads the reader through your perspective in a logical way.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.