IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows air pollution levels among four countries in 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows air pollution levels among four countries in 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#air #pollution #levels #four #countries #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart below indicates the average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
air
pollution
 produced by
Industry
,
Electricity
generation
 and transportation in 2012 in
China
, America, Japan and Australia. Measurements are by
PPM
.
Overall
,
China
 has the highest
pollution
 rate in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 fields
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Australia has the lowest
pollution
 level in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 fields and has a little bit higher level in
electricity
.
To begin
 with,
China
 is on the top with under 60
PPM
pollution
 in
electricity
generation
besides
, has the highest level
pollution
Change preposition
of pollution
show examples
 in transport with 70
PPM
also
,
China
 is
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the peak of the chart in
industry
 with 80
PPM
. The second position is Amireca with 30
PPM
pollution
 in
Electricity
generation
while
, has less than 60
PPM
pollution
 in transport and
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 under 30
PPM
pollution
 in
Industry
. The third
psition
Correct your spelling
position
 in depend
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Japan with over 10
PPM
pollution
 in
Electricity
generation
 among 30
PPM
pollution
 in transport and over 40
PPM
 in
Industry
.
Lastly
, Australia
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of the chart with
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount
under
Change preposition
of under
show examples
 20
PPM
pollution
 in all three fields.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words pollution, industry, electricity, generation, china, ppm with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollutants
  • Industrialization
  • Regulations
  • Geographical factors
  • Emissions
  • Air quality
  • Carbon dioxide (CO2)
  • Particulate matter (PM)
  • Nitrogen oxides (NOx)
  • Fossil fuels
  • Renewable energy
  • Sustainable practices
  • Comparative analysis
  • Environmental impact
  • Public health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: