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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #art #children #school #waste #time
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The debate over whether
art
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 is an essential subject for
children
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 in school or a waste of time is ongoing, with valid arguments on both sides. Proponents of
art
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education
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 argue that it plays a crucial role in the holistic development of
children
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. They believe
art
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 fosters creativity, enhances emotional expression, and improves academic performance by developing skills like concentration and discipline.
For example
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, drawing or painting can help
children
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 observe their surroundings carefully and express their interpretations,
thus
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 enhancing visual-spatial skills.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that
art
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 is not essential and that school time should be devoted to more "practical"
subjects
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such
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 as mathematics, science, and language arts. They argue that these
subjects
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 are more directly linked to future career opportunities and economic success. Critics
also
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 point out that not all
children
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 are interested in or talented at
art
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, and forcing them to participate in
art
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 classes can lead to frustration and disengagement. In some underfunded schools, they suggest resources allocated to
art
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 programs could be better used to improve facilities or provide better materials for core
subjects
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. In my view,
art
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 should be an essential part of the school curriculum, but with a balanced approach.
While
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 it is crucial to prioritize core academic
subjects
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,
art
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education
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 should not be dismissed. It contributes significantly to the
overall
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 development of
children
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, fostering creativity, emotional intelligence, and cultural awareness.
However
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, to address concerns, schools could offer a more flexible
art
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 curriculum, integrating it with other
subjects
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 and allowing students some choice in how they engage with it. In conclusion,
while
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 emphasizing core academic
subjects
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 is understandable,
art
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education
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 should not be neglected. A well-rounded
education
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 that includes
art
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 can prepare
children
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 not only for academic success but
also
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 for a fulfilling and balanced life. By incorporating
art
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 in a balanced manner, we can ensure that all students benefit from its numerous advantages without compromising their future career opportunities.
Submitted by aledailah2003 on

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task achievement
The essay could incorporate a few more specific examples or data points to strengthen the arguments. Including real-world scenarios or studies could support the points better.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs are good, but could be made even smoother with the use of more transitional phrases. This would improve the natural flow of the text.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument thoroughly before stating a well-reasoned opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing the essay and summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with each paragraph clearly contributing to the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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