IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students. others believe that higher education should be available to only good students. discuss both views and give your opinion

In recent years, the question of whether universities should allow all
students
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 to enrol or admit only high-achieving
students
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 has been widely debated.
While
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 some contend that higher
education
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 should open doors to all who want to pursue higher studies, others argue that colleges should only accept hard-working applicants.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I support the former viewpoint. On the one hand, I agree with those who advocate providing access to higher
education
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 for all who wish to enrol. Equal access to tertiary
education
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 offers opportunities to develop skills and knowledge for people who want to expand their potential. To illustrate
this
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, if someone is not serious about studying, they are unlikely to enrol in higher
education
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 because they would want to waste their time or money.
For example
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, a 2012 study in Denmark showed that 34% of university graduates who later achieved high GPAs had previously demonstrated weak performance in high school.
Therefore
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, authorities should provide equal access to individuals from various backgrounds rather than prevent learners from pursuing their goals because of previous academic mistakes.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that universities should not waste their resources and damage their reputation as prestigious institutions by admitting average
students
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. They point out that diligent
students
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 often achieve high grades, which gives a college a prestigious reputation, allowing it to charge higher tuition fees.
For instance
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, Harvard University only accepts applicants who meet stringent criteria, including a high GPA, evidence of community service, and a letter of recommendation.
However
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, renowned universities may effectively exclude low-income groups from enrolling, even if these applicants are competent, because of the high cost.
To conclude
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,
although
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 enrolling only diligent
students
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 may have merit, I believe that
such
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 a move would not only widen the gap between advantaged and disadvantaged groups but
also
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 deny equal opportunities to passionate learners.

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structure
Add stronger links between ideas to show a clear chain of thought.
content
Provide more precise and balanced proof for each point.
language
Use more simple and clear sentences; some long words can be replaced.
content
Avoid too much on two sides; give more on the other side too, to show fair view.
fact-check
Check numbers or facts used in examples for accuracy.
strength
Clear view on the topic and a clear opinion.
strength
Good paragraphing and the idea flow is easy to follow.
strength
Strong start and close that match the task.
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