In some cultures, children are told they can achieve anything if they work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many cultures, a common refrain that people tell their
children
is “
you
Capitalize word
You
show examples
can do anything if you work hard enough”.
This
message
gives optimism to the
children
and gives a complex picture, but
this
may sound optimistic but
also
sounds
Verb problem
apply
show examples
unrealistic and they could result in disappointment. One of the best benefits of the
message
is to plant a strong work ethic.
Children
who trust effort is the important thing to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
are likely to address the challenges with a
lot
of determination. They will have barriers that could result in setbacks but with the confidence that in time will pay off.
This
is an important life ability that permits them to bounce back from all of their failures to change them to chase their dreams and desires.
Furthermore
,
this
message
can make a child have imagination and ambition.
Unburden
Wrong verb form
Unburdened
show examples
with the help of barriers, they are able to discover a great array of opportunities. They would possibly dream of becoming a soccer player, a basketball player, or an astronaut, all are filled by the idea that they planted in their heads and
also
the desire that they attained since little.
This
can cause a better lifestyle path, pushing them to discover their passions and capabilities.
However
, the
message
can
also
have a
lot
of downsides because life isn't always honest. There are a
lot
of boundaries based on assets or success.
Additionally
, an untempered notion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
“something is possible” can
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
unrealistic expectations.
Children
could possibly make goals which might be way out of reach, leading to disappointment. It's essential to the difficulty of reality that success often comes with a
lot
of attempts,
talent
Correct word choice
and talent
show examples
, and sometimes you get a piece of good fortune. Ultimately
encouraging
Replace the word
encouragement
show examples
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
paintings and perseverance is important,
however
Correct word choice
and
show examples
so is an understanding of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success. By acknowledging boundaries and the effort, we are able to help
children
to adventure towards their goals, with
realistics
Correct your spelling
realistic
expectations.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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examples
Try to provide more distinct examples to support your points. While your essay covers the advantages and disadvantages well, integrating specific, real-world examples could enhance your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
balance
Consider a more balanced development of ideas. While you've touched on both sides of the argument, delving deeper into each point with equal attention could provide a richer analysis.
conclusion
Work on developing a clearer and more precise conclusion. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points made and definitively state your stance, providing a clear resolution to your discussion.
introduction
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and outlines the upcoming discussion, setting a clear direction.
structure
The structure of your essay logically organizes the advantages and disadvantages, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
understanding
You've shown a strong understanding of the topic by discussing both the positive impacts and potential downfalls of the message, demonstrating good task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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