In some cultures, children are told they can achieve anything if they work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #work #message

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In many cultures, a common refrain that people tell their

children

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is “

you

Capitalize word

You

show examples

can do anything if you work hard enough”.

This

Linking Words

message

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gives optimism to the

children

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and gives a complex picture, but

this

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may sound optimistic but

also

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sounds

Verb problem

apply

show examples

unrealistic and they could result in disappointment. One of the best benefits of the

message

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is to plant a strong work ethic.

Children

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who trust effort is the important thing to

fulfill

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fulfil

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are likely to address the challenges with a

lot

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of determination. They will have barriers that could result in setbacks but with the confidence that in time will pay off.

This

Linking Words

is an important life ability that permits them to bounce back from all of their failures to change them to chase their dreams and desires.

Furthermore

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this

Linking Words

message

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can make a child have imagination and ambition.

Unburden

Wrong verb form

Unburdened

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with the help of barriers, they are able to discover a great array of opportunities. They would possibly dream of becoming a soccer player, a basketball player, or an astronaut, all are filled by the idea that they planted in their heads and

also

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the desire that they attained since little.

This

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can cause a better lifestyle path, pushing them to discover their passions and capabilities.

However

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, the

message

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can

also

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have a

lot

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of downsides because life isn't always honest. There are a

lot

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of boundaries based on assets or success.

Additionally

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, an untempered notion

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show examples

“something is possible” can

make

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create

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unrealistic expectations.

Children

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could possibly make goals which might be way out of reach, leading to disappointment. It's essential to the difficulty of reality that success often comes with a

lot

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of attempts,

talent

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and talent

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, and sometimes you get a piece of good fortune. Ultimately

encouraging

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encouragement

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though

Correct your spelling

through

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paintings and perseverance is important,

Linking Words

however

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and

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so is an understanding of

the

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apply

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success. By acknowledging boundaries and the effort, we are able to help

children

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to adventure towards their goals, with

realistics

Correct your spelling

realistic

expectations.

Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on Thu Apr 25 2024

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examples

Try to provide more distinct examples to support your points. While your essay covers the advantages and disadvantages well, integrating specific, real-world examples could enhance your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

balance

Consider a more balanced development of ideas. While you've touched on both sides of the argument, delving deeper into each point with equal attention could provide a richer analysis.

conclusion

Work on developing a clearer and more precise conclusion. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points made and definitively state your stance, providing a clear resolution to your discussion.

introduction

Your essay effectively introduces the topic and outlines the upcoming discussion, setting a clear direction.

structure

The structure of your essay logically organizes the advantages and disadvantages, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

understanding

You've shown a strong understanding of the topic by discussing both the positive impacts and potential downfalls of the message, demonstrating good task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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In some cultures, children are told they can achieve anything if they work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers- based on technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some cities, bicycle are replacing cars. What are the reason for this for these developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners discuss and give your own opinion.