In some cultures, children are told they can achieve anything if they work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #work #message

In many cultures, a common refrain that people tell their

children

is “

you

Capitalize word

You

show examples

can do anything if you work hard enough”.

This

message

gives optimism to the

children

and gives a complex picture, but

this

may sound optimistic but

also

sounds

Verb problem

apply

show examples

unrealistic and they could result in disappointment. One of the best benefits of the

message

is to plant a strong work ethic.

Children

who trust effort is the important thing to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

are likely to address the challenges with a

lot

of determination. They will have barriers that could result in setbacks but with the confidence that in time will pay off.

This

is an important life ability that permits them to bounce back from all of their failures to change them to chase their dreams and desires.

Furthermore

this

message

can make a child have imagination and ambition.

Unburden

Wrong verb form

Unburdened

show examples

with the help of barriers, they are able to discover a great array of opportunities. They would possibly dream of becoming a soccer player, a basketball player, or an astronaut, all are filled by the idea that they planted in their heads and

also

the desire that they attained since little.

This

can cause a better lifestyle path, pushing them to discover their passions and capabilities.

However

, the

message

can

also

have a

lot

of downsides because life isn't always honest. There are a

lot

of boundaries based on assets or success.

Additionally

, an untempered notion

Change preposition

show examples

“something is possible” can

make

Verb problem

create

show examples

unrealistic expectations.

Children

could possibly make goals which might be way out of reach, leading to disappointment. It's essential to the difficulty of reality that success often comes with a

lot

of attempts,

talent

Correct word choice

and talent

show examples

, and sometimes you get a piece of good fortune. Ultimately

encouraging

Replace the word

encouragement

show examples

though

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

paintings and perseverance is important,

however

Correct word choice

and

show examples

so is an understanding of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success. By acknowledging boundaries and the effort, we are able to help

children

to adventure towards their goals, with

realistics

Correct your spelling

realistic

expectations.

Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on Thu Apr 25 2024

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examples

Try to provide more distinct examples to support your points. While your essay covers the advantages and disadvantages well, integrating specific, real-world examples could enhance your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

balance

Consider a more balanced development of ideas. While you've touched on both sides of the argument, delving deeper into each point with equal attention could provide a richer analysis.

conclusion

Work on developing a clearer and more precise conclusion. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points made and definitively state your stance, providing a clear resolution to your discussion.

introduction

Your essay effectively introduces the topic and outlines the upcoming discussion, setting a clear direction.

structure

The structure of your essay logically organizes the advantages and disadvantages, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

understanding

You've shown a strong understanding of the topic by discussing both the positive impacts and potential downfalls of the message, demonstrating good task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some cultures, children are told they can achieve anything if they work hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More students are travelling abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather that secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In writing task describe the data in the two figures below that relate to banks in the UK. Write two or three paragraphs describing the information included in the two figures.