Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has had a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is often argued that youngsters
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been affected a negative impact on their reading and writing skills by using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technologies
for communication. From my perspective, it seems convincing since using mobile phones and computers can lead young adults to have a challenge in
comprehension
of words and sentences, and they cannot focus on what they are doing.
To begin
with, I accept that using
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
can
influence
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive
effects
on young adults.
Firstly
, youngsters can download tools to use for their reading and writing.
This
is because cutting-edge
technologies
summarise the paragraphs
such
as news and articles.
Consequently
, young
people
found it effective to read and to save their time.
For example
, Chat GPT, which is Artificial intelligence, can check and edit the writing
people
make, so that
people
apply
this
technology
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their writing to save their time.
Also
, smartphones
makes
Verb problem
allow
show examples
people
access
Fix the infinitive
to access
show examples
the Internet anywhere and anytime. It can
make
Verb problem
allow
show examples
people
easier
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to access
information
Add an article
the information
show examples
they need.
And
Correct word choice
Therefore
show examples
therefore
, utilising
technologies
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
positive
effects
on youths.
On the other hand
, I am convinced that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of computers and smartphones
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more negative
effects
on young adults. First of all, more usage of cutting-edge
technologies
makes
people
have less
comprehension
. Young
people
tend to read in
hurry
Correct article usage
a hurry
show examples
and inefficiently. Which can cause
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
comprehension
.
For example
, in Korea,
Korean
Correct article usage
the Korean
show examples
Broadcasting System, called KBS, did
comprehensive
Correct article usage
a comprehensive
show examples
sentence test
for checking
Change preposition
to check
show examples
how smartphones impact
people
’s
comprehension
.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result, 9 out of 10
people
were not able to pass
this
test because they
cannot
Wrong verb form
could not
show examples
understand what
questions
Correct article usage
the questions
show examples
exactly
mean
Wrong verb form
meant
show examples
. It presents
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
struggling to understand
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the writing.
Moreover
, high
technologies
can cause less concentration.
This
is because modern
people
have a tendency
of switching
Change preposition
to switch
show examples
their
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
show examples
quickly, meaning that they cannot stay on the same page for a long time to focus. And
therefore
,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
of high
technologies
causes a number of negative
effects
on young
people
.
To conclude
,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of high
technologies
can lead young
people
to face difficulties in their writing and reading since it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
disturbing concentration and
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
the ability
of understanding
Change preposition
to understand
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the letter.
Submitted by sh960620 on

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Grammar
Make sure to use subject-verb agreement correctly throughout your essay. For example, 'youngsters has been affected' should be 'youngsters have been affected'.
Grammar
Pay attention to verb tense consistency. Ensure you use the appropriate tenses according to the context.
Style
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Mix simple, compound, and complex sentences for better flow.
Coherence
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making your argument more cohesive.
Grammar
Proofread your essay to catch and correct typographical and grammatical errors such as 'smartphones makes people' which should be 'smartphones make people'.
Structure
You presented a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Response
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Content
You provided specific examples to support your points, which helps to strengthen your argument.

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