Many governments thinks that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
It cannot be denied that many governments argue that economic
progress
is the most important aim for a country
while
some people think that other kinds of progress
are equally important for a nation. These two different arguments produced positive and negative results whereas
, from my standpoint, I firmly believe that focusing on other types of progression is more essential which will be discussed in this
essay.
On the one hand, equality is crucial for citizens where they are able to access the development easily wherever they are. This
is due to
the fact that the better quality of facilities is generally located in particular
areas such
as a capital city or a central business district. People who reside in an area which is far away from a metropolitan area encounter some difficulties in meeting their needs. For instance
, employees In Eastern Indonesia gravitate towards Java Island to look for better job opportunities because of a lack of work where they come from.
On the other hand
, economic progress
may be beneficial in the short term since the country
shows
the power to increase the economy. The Verb problem
has
country
might concentrate on what they are good at such
as tourism or entertainment, allocating much funding to the sectors to multiply the economic growth. It, however
, denies other sectors that are beneficial for citizens including public health and education. Instead
of running a particular sector, the government should set other fields providing for all people without exceptions. Therefore
, in the long term, all sectors will grow equally.
In conclusion, although
economic progress
can create some benefits, however
, it would be inefficient in the long term. Considering other types of progress
as a country
’s main goal is an effective way for both the country
and the civilian.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Task Achievement
Ensure to explore both views equally for a balanced discussion.
Task Achievement
Use specific, relevant examples to strengthen arguments. The example of employees in Eastern Indonesia is good, but more such details could enhance clarity and persuasiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on more varied linking devices and synonyms to improve coherence and avoid repetition.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses both views on the importance of economic progress vs. other kinds of progress.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay nicely.
Task Achievement
Good use of an example to support your argument, showing depth of thought.
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