In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
Nowadays, in some parts of the world,
people
are living longer compared to previous decades. There has been a debate on whether this
population
brings more problems to governments or is more beneficial. In my opinion, the disadvantages
of having an elderly population
outweigh the advantages
.
One of the advantages
of having an elderly population
is that they can be the main sources of local history. In many developing countries, students can delve into historical narratives about their hometown by conducting interviews with senior citizens
. This
is because they have lived through significant historical periods, such
as World War II, colonialism, and the early Internet era. In Indonesia, for example
, historians could write on the social history of war against colonialism in the mid-20th century by employing interview methods with elder citizens
who lived in that period. Therefore
, it is important for the government
to protect elderly people
and ensure that their basic needs are fulfilled.
Despite the aforementioned benefits, there are those who argue that an ageing population
presents challenges for governments, especially in providing adequate healthcare services. The increasing number of people
aged 70 to 80 are more likely to have health problems such
as diabetes, high blood pressure, and others. Consequently
, the government
should allocate their budget in order to take care of them. It means that the government
tends to face some disadvantages
because of this
. The funding that they spend for assisting older citizens
, for instance
, can be allocated to other areas such
as education and sports centres for the young generation. Hence
, it can be said that the disadvantages
of having elderly people
outweigh the advantages
.
In conclusion, while
senior citizens
may give benefits for writing local history, I argue that there are more problems of having an older population
such
as healthcare services that require more funding from the government
. It is clear that
the disadvantages
outweigh the advantages
in terms of having a senior population
.Submitted by salwafahanim on
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Task Response
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, but further development of your arguments could enhance clarity. Try expanding on your points with more detailed examples or explanations.
Task Achievement
To better support your main points, consider incorporating more varied and detailed examples that directly relate to the impacts on governments and societies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized. Using transition words and phrases to link ideas more seamlessly could further improve your coherence and cohesion.
Structure
Introductory and concluding paragraphs are well-crafted, presenting your viewpoint clearly.
Content
Good use of examples, such as the historical value provided by elderly populations and healthcare challenges. These help illustrate your points effectively.
Organization
The logical structure of your arguments is coherent, making your essay easy to follow.