Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease , governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days some individuals think environmental
pollution
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and housing
problems
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should be mitigated by
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government
Add an article
the government
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to avoid illness and disease. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
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argue
Replace the word
argument
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because environmental
pollution
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including
water
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,
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air
Correct word choice
and air
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pollution
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can
may
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apply
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affect
to
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apply
show examples
people
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's lives harmfully so
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
government
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need to focus more on tackling the solution. It is true to admit that nowadays the
problems
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of environmental
pollution
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and housing
problems
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are
controversy
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controversial
show examples
, and it is alarming that
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
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level
Correct article usage
the level
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of
pollution
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appears, the more
potention
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potential
that
people
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may get illness and from that many
disease
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diseases
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may emerge and affect
to
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apply
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human's
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human
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health.
Hence
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, many efforts of
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government
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the government
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toprevent
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to prevent
the
problems
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, they might cut down the
problems
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. Take
air
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pollution
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as
the
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an
show examples
example, many countries
are considered
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consider
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that the higher level of
air
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pollution
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they have, and the data of those
coutries
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countries
reveal that the proportion of
people
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who
get
Verb problem
have
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the
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apply
show examples
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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about
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with
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breathing and lungs
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
high alarmingly. For that reason, many countries to advert the
problem
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may focus on propagating the dwellers not to take advantage of utilizing individual transports to decrease the toxic
emission
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emissions
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that they emit
for
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into
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the
air
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. It is
also
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recognized that
environmantal
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environmental
pollution
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as
water
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pollution
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can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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affect
to
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apply
show examples
people
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's lives, the
water
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may be affected by the
water
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including the chemical substances which may be dumped
in to
Join the words
into
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the
water
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can kill
the
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apply
show examples
marine animals and
it
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apply
show examples
also
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affect
to
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apply
show examples
people
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's health.
People
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who drink
this
Linking Words
water
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may get many diseases and
government
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need to tackle
this
Linking Words
problem
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. In conclusion, tackling the
problem
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may be the key to
enhance
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enhancing
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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's lives and health to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illness and disease, from that rise the
Correct your spelling
people's
peole's
Correct your spelling
people's
life
expantancy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
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coherence cohesion
Try to provide more varied and complex sentence structures to further enhance the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic to make your essay more engaging and precise.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and grounded in reality.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion and maintained a consistent argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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