IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It has been argued that gift giving should not be encouraged, because money is often wasted on things that people do not like or want. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#gift #money #people
It has been claimed that present giving should not be encouraged because
people
 spend too much
money
 on useless things. Whilst it is true that
people
 waste
money
 on gifts, I believe that offering something to remember a celebration or special occasion is sentimentally important. Nowadays, the consumer society we are living in and marketing encourages
people
 to spend more and more
money
 on things they don't need, whenever they want. Indeed,
people
 face advertisements all the time and don't wait for special occasions to buy what they see, even if they don't need it.
For example
, pop-up ads appear on their screens when
people
 read their e-mails, which makes them want or even need what they are seeing. Offering a present,
however
, may be a way to remember someone, which makes the gift valuable and unique.
For example
, grandparents often give something they used to have,
such
 as jewels or a watch, which makes the present sentimentally valuable.
In addition
, a gift allows
people
 to remember a celebration or a special occasion like pictures do.
For instance
, we all had a present for a birthday or Christmas that made us remember that day forever.
Nevertheless
, more and more
people
 resale the presents they have been given, which allows them to choose something really worthwhile for them or something they need too.
For example
, websites like Vinted or leboncoin in France are very popular for that kind of exchange. In conclusion,
although
 spending
money
 on useless presents is a waste, I believe that giving something for special occasions is important, not only sentimentally, but in order to remember
people
 or events as well.
Submitted by leared on

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introduction and conclusion
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supported main points
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task achievement
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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