Some people say that the amount of noise that people make should be strictly controlled. Others say that people should be free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In these modern days, many individuals believe that people should strictly control their

sound

Use synonyms

levels.

However

Linking Words

, some others argue that creating

sound

Use synonyms

is okay, and everyone should do it as they want. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both of these perspectives and explain why I strongly agree that

sound

Use synonyms

needs to be controlled. On the one hand, screaming, yelling, and other loud voices could be outlets for stress relief.

This

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is the reason why after we go to a concert or karaoke, we feel more relaxed. It could be really helpful to channel those emotions, rather than engage in anything negative,

such

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as emotional or even physical abuse, which is dangerous for individuals near us. Loud voices can

also

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boost the surrounding mood and make it more positive.

For example

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, during play or team-building events, we are often encouraged to shout or speak loudly,

consequently

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elevating the atmosphere and making it more enjoyable.

On the other hand

Linking Words

sound

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could be a distressing disturbance, especially for activities that require focus and attention,

such

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as school activities, watching cinema, and working.

Therefore

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, in those places, there should be zone-based

sound

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control, so people can maintain their focus and engage in their activities without any disturbance. To give a good example, a construction site needs to utilize

sound

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-dampening materials to reduce the

sound

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generated; one

such

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material that could be used is sand.

To conclude

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, I believe that freely making

sound

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brings benefits for stress relief and social interaction.

However

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, in most places,

sound

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needs to be controlled to create a comfortable environment for people around us.

ridhokholis9aFri Apr 26 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to make sure your argument is balanced by discussing both views equally before presenting your own. This will strengthen the overall persuasive power of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Don't hesitate to use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas even more smoothly and improve the flow of your essay. Examples are 'Furthermore', 'Nevertheless', and 'In contrast'.

General

Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to showcase your language skills more fully.

Introduction & Conclusion

You have a clear thesis statement that sets the direction for your essay, leading to a strong introduction and conclusion.

Use of Examples

Good use of examples to support your points adds depth to your argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

noise pollution
mental and physical well-being
hearing loss
sleep disturbances
stress levels
freedom of expression
cultural expression
social interactions
economic benefits
property values
tourism and hospitality
entertainment and construction industries
thoughtful noise regulations
public health
economic and cultural considerations
zone-based noise control
flexibility

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