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Band 8

Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer work and personal calls at any time, 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#anybody #phone #work #time #week #development #effects #individuals #society
Everybody can use a cell
phone
 to make either private or job-related
phone
 calls all day and week.
This
 development has both benefits and drawbacks for the user and the public as well and I suppose the negative influences outweigh the positive ones.
This
 essay is going to discuss both sides. On the one hand, it is generally acknowledged that in an urgent situation calling someone or answering a
phone
 call can prevent a catastrophe. It seems the main reason for inventing
this
 device is the significant usage of it in emergency occasions.
For instance
, when I was pregnant in the 7th month and nobody was with me, thanks to my mobile
phone
, I simply called the Emergency Service when I found out the baby was coming sooner than expected.
Additionally
, the possibility of doing some tasks by making a
phone
 call rather than going to the office gives the managers and staff a chance to carry out distant jobs. It brings some benefits for the companies to decrease their expenses by providing the situation for those staff whose request is working from their homes.
On the other hand
, there is ample evidence that by introducing mobile
phones
, people changed their attitudes from gathering with friends to talking on the
phones
. It makes a large number of mobile addicts who no longer tend to socialize with others face-to-face.
Moreover
, the signals which are being received by
this
 device are extremely harmful to the human brain , especially children. The negative impacts of long talks on mobile
phones
 will be indicated in the future by chronic diseases
such
 as cancer and brain tumours. A case in point is the recent finding of scientists which shows a sharp increase in the number of so-called illnesses
as a result
 of overusing cell
phones
.
Consequently
,
although
this
 invention has simplified individuals' lives, it has endangered human beings' health. It can be
therefore
 argued that it is necessary for everybody to avoid overusing
this
 device
due to
 its danger to their body.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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Structure
Ensure a clear distinction between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion for better clarity and impact.
Language
Vary your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement.
Content
Consider expanding your argument by discussing the societal impacts in more depth to provide a more balanced view.
Content
Good use of specific examples to support your points.
Structure
You've structured your essay well, with distinct sections for each part of your argument.
Content
The topic is addressed comprehensively, covering both positives and negatives effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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