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Band 5

In many parts of the world girls and boys are educated together in co-educational or mixed schools. Some people think that girls and boys benefit from being educated separately in single-sex schools. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#parts #world #girls #boys #schools #people #benefit
During the
last
 decades, humans' thoughts and insights have changed,
then
 types of teaching have
also
 variated in order to equalize learning.
For
this
 reason, nowadays, lectures are imparted in classrooms where there are both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
 with
discrimation
Correct your spelling
discrimination
.
However
, many people still argue that it is necessary to separate classes
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 sexual characteristics by creating schools for men and women
splitely
Correct your spelling
spritely
politely
. I completely disagree with
this
 statement, and in
this
 essay, I explain my arguments.
To begin
 with, there are many
physiology
Replace the word
physiological
show examples
 differences between
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
,
then
 they naturally complement each other
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 their intrinsic biological and hormonal mechanisms.
Besides
,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of the brain
variates
Verb problem
varies
show examples
 depending on genes that are expressed,
hence
 girls have 'XX' sexual expression
while
 boys
'XY'
Add a missing verb
have 'XY'
show examples
.
Therefore
, these attributes lead to strong variability from childhood and their
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 of complement between genders.
For example
, visual studies have shown that women develop more accurate qualities to identify
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
,
however
,
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
 of males have more
capacitiy
Correct your spelling
capacity
 to establish 3D spatiality.
Additionally
, there are not only innate and
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 characteristics
such
 as the aforementioned, but
also
 human beings have stood out as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
'social figures' that require constant communication for their mental health and wellness. As a
consequent
Replace the word
consequence
show examples
, social relationships are crucial from
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years to reach every milestone,
thus
 co-education must be mandatory in order to teach children that there are
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 sexual features that have to be respected.
Accordingly
, their tolerance and empathy will improve and many socializing
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 could be avoided.
To sum up
, schools should prioritize inclusive politics and emphasize
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education without boundaries and inequalities,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
mixed-schools
Correct your spelling
mixed schools
show examples
 should be supported by The Government.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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Introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position to guide the reader smoothly into your arguments.
Example
It would be advantageous to include more diverse and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Argument
Remember to address the counterargument more directly to show a balanced view, which could enhance your essay's depth.
Accuracy
Pay attention to the precise use of terms ('discrimination' seems misused) and proofread for minor errors to improve clarity.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good structure, dividing your ideas logically into paragraphs.
Argument
You've successfully made a strong case for co-educational systems by emphasizing the benefits of gender complementarity and social skills development.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your views, reinforcing the argument for mixed schools.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunity
  • collaboration
  • gender equality
  • peer pressure
  • personal development
  • academic performance
  • social skills
  • traditional roles
  • creative thinking
  • critical thinking
  • self-confidence
  • peer interaction
  • curriculum
  • learning environment
  • academic success
  • gender segregation
  • academic needs
  • equal opportunities
  • competitive environment
  • extracurricular activities
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