In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Numerous

students

Use synonyms

prefer

while

Linking Words

they study, they should live at

home

Use synonyms

with their parents.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many

students

Use synonyms

like to go, out of the city for the sake of their education because they find more opportunities in another city. In my view, the drawbacks of living away from their

home

Use synonyms

outweigh the benefits and I will provide relevant arguments related to my claim in the given paragraphs.

Firstly

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, the

students

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face a lot of difficulties when they move away from their

home

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. The basic problem they face is related to their diet. At

home

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they get a healthy diet with fresh ingredients,

Therefore

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, at hotels, the quality of food is not as good as they get at

home

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some

students

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like to cook for themselves but they waste a lot of time cooking rather than focusing on their studies.

For instance

Linking Words

, I have seen

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

numerous friends who migrated from their cities to another for educational purposes they like to eat meals from hotels and they fell ill

due to

Linking Words

an inappropriate amount of diet.

As a result

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, they do not achieve

desired

Correct article usage

the desired

show examples

results in their studies.

Secondly

Linking Words

Students

Use synonyms

do have not emotional support from their families. Whenever they get stuck in a problem they don't have anyone to share their problems with.

Thus

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, they face mental issues and it badly affects their education.

For example

Linking Words

, when

students

Use synonyms

get bad grades on their exams, at

home

Use synonyms

their family

always

Add a missing verb

is always

show examples

present to support them but in other cities, they don't have any kind of support for them.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. In my point of view,

students

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should stay at

home

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and they should focus on their objectives and achieve their goals steadily with their families.

mifzalrizwan2

Aug 24, 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear response to the task. However, try to elaborate more on relevant examples and make them more detailed. This would provide stronger support for your arguments.

coherence cohesion

To improve clarity, consider refining some sentences for grammatical accuracy and avoiding minor errors, such as punctuation and subject-verb agreement.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a logical flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

The main points in your essay are well-supported, making it easy for the reader to follow your reasoning.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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