Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30’s. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Whether the juveniles have been forced to live with their nuclear families
due to
severe economic condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
specially
the housing matters is a crucial subject of public concern and debate. Replace the word
especially
Although
there are a number of welcoming points with regard to this
statement, I will argue that the demrits
of living with Correct your spelling
demerits
parents
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the
its benefits.
Remove the article
apply
One
the one hand, there is a widely held view among people Correct your spelling
On
spesifically
Correct your spelling
specifically
elderlies
that youngsters who live with their families have been found a probable opportunity to make a profit in their lifetime. Being Fix the agreement mistake
the elderly,
finantially
tied with the father and the mother, those people Correct your spelling
financially
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
lived
in the family do not make an Wrong verb form
live
affort
to gain and achieve what they want.Despite the fact that they find the chance to Correct your spelling
effort
rise
money for Correct your spelling
raise
buing
a new house, the dependent personality forced them to not take a risk which might lead to Correct your spelling
buying
being
a
profound success. Remove the article
apply
Thus
, not only does living in parents'
Correct pronoun usage
their parents'
residance
not help them to grow and save up money, but Correct your spelling
residence
also
teach
them to be more under Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
support
of their loved family.
Add an article
the support
On the other hand
, individuals embarking on providing a residential place with or without parental support are more likely to build up an unsheikeable
sense of Correct your spelling
unshakeable
unshakable
confidance
and become Correct your spelling
confidence
to
independent. To clarify, the ones who accept the barriers of life and Change preposition
apply
striggeling
with them are the Correct your spelling
struggling
one
that acknowledge the way to approach Correct pronoun usage
ones
to
success. From the early youth ages, they Change preposition
apply
aquire
the importance of planning for their money, their income, and their costs including the house expenses. Correct your spelling
acquire
require
Hence
, it is essential that parents
encourage their children to adhere to this
fundamentals, Correct determiner usage
these
likewise
, playing a grant role as a supporters
for them rather than being a resource of budget.
In conclusion, I argued that the cons of living with Correct the article-noun agreement
supporter
parents
in Correct pronoun usage
their 30’s
30’s
with regard to some drawbacks Change noun form
30s
outweight
the pros of that owing to some potential reasons.Correct your spelling
outweigh
Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on
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Language accuracy
Try to avoid spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing. For instance, 'severe economic condition specially the housing matters' could be revised for correctness.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to improve the flow of your essay. While you have some good connections, incorporating a variety of them can make your argumentation more sophisticated.
Task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples. Doing so can help to illustrate your points more vividly, providing a stronger case for your standpoint.
Introduction and conclusion
You present a clear thesis statement and conclude your essay by reaffirming your stance, effectively framing your argument.
Logical structure
You have a good attempt at structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea. This organization helps in enhancing the reader's understanding of your argument.
Task response
You demonstrate an ability to engage with the topic critically, presenting both sides of the argument before stating your own view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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