IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in other countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is believed by certain groups of
people
Use synonyms
 that workers, specifically medical and technical professionals, are supposed to repay for their training by working in the country where they have taken training courses. Other
people
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 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and they are convinced that those individuals should have free choice of employment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will demonstrate both perspectives and put them into the light of discussion with personal stance on that particular matter. Within a certain demographic, it is unconditionally true that workers who were granted opportunities to train their professional skills should be employed by local companies and provide repayment in the form of services. One major reason for
this
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 position might be the fact that those training courses used national resources that taxpayers paid for.
Thus
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, departing from the country where you have claimed those benefits could be considered wasteful and exploitative.
For instance
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, every year thousands of medical students undergo various trainings in foreign and more developed
countries
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 that build facilities and institutions for centuries via local tax allocations. The majority of those
people
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 are more likely to return to their home country after completing courses which can be considered ineffective in terms of investment and funding.
While
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 it may sound more logical to obligate students to work in those
countries
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, many
people
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 believe that typical actions are limiting freedom of choice and universal human rights. One of the reasons for
this
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 could be mutual cooperation that would be useful to international societies.
For example
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, many doctors enrol and finish foreign training programs where they have obtained critical knowledge and experience during the COVID-19 pandemic.
This
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 educational mobility resulted in the improvement of
overall
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 public health within various affected
countries
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 and helped to build a framework of action for the pandemic response. In conclusion, some would think that individuals who obtained certain technical skills in foreign
countries
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 should be employed in those
countries
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.
However
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,
this
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 may have detrimental effects on the global development of humanity
due to
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 the limitation of basic human rights. For
this
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 matter, I believe that providing free choices is the better option since it encourages professionals to be more open and cooperative.

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While you did discuss both views and gave your opinion, integrating more specific examples to illustrate your points would strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, aim to connect your ideas more smoothly. You can achieve this by using a wider range of linking words and making sure each paragraph logically leads into the next. This will help your essay flow more naturally.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, which is excellent. To refine these sections further, try to include a more definitive statement of your personal stance in the introduction and a summary of the main points discussed in the conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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