All the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older peoples. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #peoples #situation #outweight

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this

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era, the population is increasing all over the world

which

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with

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younger are higher than

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

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. In

this

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essay,

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will discuss about pros and cons of

this

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topic in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, these days young adults run the house in their family. To explain, they are more enthusiastic and energetic as compared to older

due to

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which they can work for long hours.

In addition

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due to

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the advancement of technology, they adapt

this

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easily and help in life to make it more convenient.

In contrast

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elders

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are resisting

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apply

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change, still using old methods.

Therefore

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, it is beneficial for society that they

have more

Verb problem

are

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younger than older.

On the other hand

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, people see the

elders

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the

Correct article usage

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burden on society because they are dependent on food, housing and clothes.

However

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, they have enough knowledge about the past which they got from their ancestors.

Moreover

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, they have numerous

experience

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experiences

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life,

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due

Correct word choice

and due

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this

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fact, they can make any decision quickly and usually

correct

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correctly

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during which they can teach their children about the past history and cultural values and it helps to unite the community.

Thus

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elders

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are the pillars of the new generation. In conclusion, young adults adapt to things if they change but

elders

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are not, but older have a lot of experience which they can apply to life and teach their children as well how to tackle problems. In my opinion, there are more disadvantages than advantages that there are fewer

elders

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Submitted by AP on Sat Apr 27 2024

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Task Achievement

Start your essay with a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question. Clearly state if you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points. This makes your argument more convincing and detailed.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.

Task Achievement & Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and clearly states your position regarding the advantages and disadvantages.

General Language Use

Pay attention to consistent and accurate verb tenses throughout your essay to maintain clarity.

Content Understanding

Effectively discussed the roles of young adults and elders in society, showing an understanding of the topic.

Logical Structure

Used a clear structure with separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, making your essay easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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All the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older peoples. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Since traveling abroad has become relatively inexpensive more countries are opening their doors for foreign tourists. Is it a positive or negative trend? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: your reason for writing what you would like to happen a nice, respectful style

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars

Some parents think children should have mobile phones , others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.