Some people think that the government should provide free housing, while others think that it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Home is often considered a warm harbour where our bodies and minds find respite. The question of whether the authority should provide free or affordable housing to residents has sparked a contentious debate. Both sides of
this
argument have valid points, In my view, the government and residents should share a certain level of responsibility in housing issues. On the one hand, proponents of free state housing argue that it is pivotal to address housing inequalities. By providing affordable housing options, particularly to those from lower-income backgrounds, the state can significantly reduce disparities in living conditions and promote better standards of living. As more individuals secure stable housing, they enhance their capacity to focus on other aspects of their lives,
such
as education and careers.
Moreover
,
this
approach can bolster economic growth.
For example
, government investment in housing can stimulate the economy by creating jobs in construction, maintenance and related industries.
On the other hand
, others emphasize the importance of personal responsibility in securing housing. They argue that self-financed housing not only instils a sense of ownership but
also
underscores the seriousness with which individuals approach their housing needs.
Additionally
,
this
stance alleviates the financial burden on taxpayers, allowing the government to allocate resources to other vital public services.
For instance
, the state provides free education and free medical care through public schools and hospitals. In conclusion, achieving a harmonious balance between these two perspectives is essential. By integrating governmental support and individual responsibility, we can guarantee that everyone not only has access to housing without compromising their self-investment in personal development but
also
cultivates a more serious attitude toward housing.
Submitted by xiaoruoling7 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some paragraphs could be developed further to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
You presented an introduction and conclusion, which is commendable, but ensure that they are both sufficiently detailed to fully encapsulate the content of the essay.
coherence cohesion
While you have supported the main points, consider using more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
You responded to the task, discussing both views and giving your opinion, yet your response lacks depth and detail in places. It is important to fully explore the implications of each view to show a complete understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and comprehensive. Provide more elaborate explanations or expand on the reasoning behind each view to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay would benefit from a wider range of specific, relevant examples to illustrate the points being made, adding weight to the argument and providing tangible evidence to back up claims.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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