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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the plan of public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the plan of public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#plan #library #years #information #features #comparisons
This
 diagram shows the difference
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 public
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 20 years ago and now. In my opinion,
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
 games section become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
bigger and it has been transferred to children's fiction books and
area
Correct article usage
an area
show examples
 for
organization
Add an article
the organization
show examples
 of
story telling
Correct your spelling
storytelling
show examples
 events.
In addition
, there is
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
instate
Correct your spelling
instead
show examples
 of
enquiry
Correct article usage
an enquiry
show examples
 room and
that's
Unnecessary verb
that
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 library visitors to take
rest
Correct article usage
a rest
show examples
 and drink or eat.
Also
,
Correct article usage
the kids
show examples
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
 books room
replaced
Add a missing verb
was replaced
show examples
 by
lecture
Correct article usage
the lecture
show examples
 room, which is more convenient for students to review their subjects and
studying
Replace the word
study
show examples
 as a
groups
Correct the article-noun agreement
group
show examples
.
Furthermore
, more facilities added for
exampl
Correct your spelling
example
self service
Add a hyphen
self-service
show examples
 machines,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 reference books.
Submitted by afnan.sa1992 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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