IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries or individual people to address. In other words,we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #address #stage #environment #level
There is a view in today's society that the environmental problem is too big for individual nations and humans to solve unless it is on the international stage.Actually, I have a different view. There is no doubt that environmental problems can be better solved on an international platform.
Countries
 signed contracts for the sea,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land pollution the South and north points of the earth, air pollution and so on.If a country breaks the rules,
then
 other
countries
 will condemn it and stop helping it.In order to live in
pace
Correct your spelling
peace
show examples
, governments have to inform their citizens that it is necessary to protect and improve the environment.
However
, as the saying goes, "Start with yourself."
While
 there is an international desire to protect the environment, some
countries
 are unable to do so. Like Japan. Their local standards for nuclear are much higher than those of international and other
countries
.So they put
waste water
Correct your spelling
wastewater
show examples
 into the ocean and
causing
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 pollution, even though many people and many
countries
 are against it. In conclusion, I believe that
while
 the international is important, individual
countries
 and
individuals
Change the noun form
individual
show examples
 people are more necessary. Only when each individual thinks
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 protecting the environment, the whole country can have
this
 mind. That will be a better trend for the world.
Submitted by 1053940615 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction clarity
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. You've made a good start by presenting a different viewpoint, but clarifying your stance from the beginning can strengthen your argument.
Body paragraph support
In the body paragraphs, each main idea should be followed by specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This strengthens the persuasiveness of your essay.
Tone and register
Try to maintain a neutral and formal tone throughout the essay. Avoid colloquial expressions or overly simplified arguments to ensure your essay maintains an academic tone.
Conclusion effectiveness
In the conclusion, succinctly restate your viewpoint and summarize the main arguments you've made in the essay. This reinforces your position and gives the essay a strong closing.
Structural clarity
You've done a good job organizing your essay with a logical structure that's easy to follow.
Critical thinking
You effectively introduce a counterargument, showing complexity in your understanding of the issue.
Coherence
Your conclusion ties back to the introduction, creating a well-rounded essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: