Industrial visits are an important aspect of a student's education, give your opinion
Visiting the workplace in the field of study is an essential aspect of a graduate's education. Spending time out of the educational institution to visit the working environment provides the students with first-hand experience and exposes them to practical challenges and problems they might encounter on a daily basis. I agree that gaining industry experience during studies is one of the most effective ways of learning and
this
essay outlines the benefits in detail.
Gaining first-hand experience has proven to be a more effective method of learning than reading books on any subject. For example
, when a medical undergraduate takes time out of education to visit the wards and attend to patients, they see the symptoms, treatment and the journey of the patient. Seeing such
events in person will provide a better understanding of the condition and treatment methods than simply being taught in a lesson or reading a book. Similarly
, the information is more likely to be retained in the student's memory.
Regardless of the field or industry, industry life is full of challenges and difficulties. Such
threats are often shocking and daunting for new workers and may take several weeks to months to develop a coping mechanism. Going back to the example of a medical undergraduate, by visiting the hospitals and working alongside doctors, student doctors will get to witness the daily issues and problems faced by the staff such
as breaking bad news or dealing with an angry patient. Being aware of the possible problems allows the students to be better prepared and allows them to perform as outstanding healthcare professionals.
To conclude
, visiting the workplace during studies proves to be an efficient method of teaching as something that is
learned from seeing is understood and retained better than reading alone and seeing the challenges of work-life produces better-prepared employees.Submitted by Mangalakumaran.sangeetha on
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Task Response
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive argument supporting the importance of industrial visits in a student's education. To further enhance your essay, consider diversifying your examples to include a wider range of fields beyond medical examples, which will add depth to your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the reader's understanding. To improve coherence and cohesion, you could use a wider variety of transition phrases to link ideas more smoothly between paragraphs.
Introduction Quality
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and your opinion, providing a strong foundation for the discussion that follows.
Use of Examples
You successfully use specific examples to support your main points, particularly with the insight into medical students' experiences, which makes your arguments more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.