IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The media has become too influential in peoples lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #peoples #lives #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's fast-paced
world
Use synonyms
, the
media
Use synonyms
 and the internet play a crucial role in our day-to-day lives. I completely disagree with the idea that social
media
Use synonyms
 has negative results.
while
Linking Words
 some believe that social
media
Use synonyms
 could waste our time and compromise privacy, I contend that
media
Use synonyms
 could have both pros and cons and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will elaborate on my opinion. On the one hand, some argue that the
media
Use synonyms
 could be detrimental to human society. They state that a large part of our time in the day is devoted to social
media
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, we forget to do other work or activities like hanging out with friends and doing physical activities.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 share their holidays and weekend activities with other
people
Use synonyms
 by posting photos or videos on social
media
Use synonyms
, they seriously sacrifice their privacy and share anything of their lives, even private ones, with strangers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the latest
news
Use synonyms
 is released by social
media
Use synonyms
 at the moment. In the past,
people
Use synonyms
 all over the
world
Use synonyms
 waited for the morning newspaper or cable TV channel to be aware of what was happening across the globe. Fortunately, nowadays, thanks to social
media
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as X, Facebook and Instagram, the
news
Use synonyms
 spreads all over the
world
Use synonyms
 in a second and there is no difference between
people
Use synonyms
 from various countries.
For example
Linking Words
, the
news
Use synonyms
 about COVID-19 in China was broadcast all over the
world
Use synonyms
 quickly and other countries had a chance to do some precautionary acts in order to prevent
this
Linking Words
 virus.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can change our social
media
Use synonyms
's privacy and policy setting to prevent misuse.
Thus
Linking Words
, by social
media
Use synonyms
 and the internet, it is much easier than in the past to know about a variety of
news
Use synonyms
 and events, like political, social and economic ones. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the
media
Use synonyms
 should be banned and restricted
due to
Linking Words
 some reasons, regardless of all these causes, I strongly believe in the freedom to use the
media
Use synonyms
 for any purpose, because it is capable of increasing our awareness about the
world
Use synonyms
's latest
news
Use synonyms
.The
media
Use synonyms
 has become too influential in
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives today and
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Submitted by hesam.kord.f on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Continue to structure your essays with clear, distinct paragraphs representing different ideas or aspects of your argument.
Example
Use specific examples to support your viewpoints; this strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
Balance in Argument
Maintain a balance in discussing both sides of an argument before stating your own opinion. This showcases your ability to understand and evaluate different perspectives.
Specific advice related to content
Monitor your privacy settings on social media to prevent misuse.
Thesis Statement
Ensure you have a clear thesis statement that guides your essay; it helps in making your stance clear from the beginning.
Grammar
Check your essay for minor grammatical errors to refine your writing further. Achieving a more polished essay can impact your score positively.
Engagement and Clarity
Engaged with the topic directly and provided a balanced view before expressing a clear personal stance.
Organization
Organized your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which made your argument easy to follow.
Language Use
Used a variety of complex sentences and vocabulary to express your ideas, enhancing the quality of your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influential
  • sensationalism
  • conglomerates
  • biased
  • misinformation
  • exacerbating
  • constant exposure
  • unrealistic standards
  • homogenization
  • critical thinking
  • foster
  • community engagement
  • social change
  • public opinion
  • perceptions
  • corporate interests
  • mental health issues
  • traditional cultural
  • educational sources
  • responsibly
What to do next:
Look at other essays: