It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It has been argued that a large number of
people
who had a big impact on the world were completely devoted to their
work
and did not care about the notion of
work
-life balance. Whilst
people
need to be invested in their professional lives to do their
work
the best they can, I believe that we need to find
time
to be generous to others and enjoy personal moments to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balanced mental health.
People
who are completely devoted to their
work
often have a career plan and do everything possible to be promoted to the top of the ladder, which can damage their personal and sentimental lives.
For example
, young workers with
high responsibily
Correct your spelling
high-responsibility
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
focus only on their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and don't have
time
to be invested in a
long
Correct word choice
long-term
show examples
love relationship, which
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
them
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
single for a long
time
.
People
who choose to have a balanced
work
-life,
however
, can enjoy personal moments with their family and friends. They take
time
for their loved ones.
For example
, they organize their
work
time
to pick up their children from school and do more
work
at home.
Additionally
, giving priority to
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
time
with relatives or friends encourages a balanced mental health. As an aside, the notion of
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
balance is very important in New Zealand, which allows
people
to feel happy and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
opened
Change the form of the verb
open
show examples
towards others.
Moreover
, sharing
time
between
work
and personal
time
allows
people
to give their free
time
to others .
In other words
, being more selfish can make them more generous.
For example
,spend
time
in charity
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
. In conclusion,
wilst
Correct your spelling
while
we have to be invested in our
work
to do it the best we can, I believe that we need to care more about a
well balanced
Add a hyphen
well-balanced
show examples
life shared between
work
and free
time
, which allows
people
to feel happier and healthier.
Submitted by leared on

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Examples
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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Well-being
  • Productivity
  • Fulfilling
  • Time management
  • Prioritize
  • Burnout
  • Boundaries
  • Dedication
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Efficiency
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