IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #art
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in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 life that we recently live there
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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big
argued
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argument
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 about if government shouldn’t waste money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
art
 , some people
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
art
 is important and the
governmet
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government
should
supports
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support
show examples
art
 but in another hand some individuals see is
Correct article usage
a wate
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wate
Correct your spelling
waste
 of money ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 definitely agree with the first opinion and i will demonstrate why .
to begin
 with , there are several benefits of
art
 first
art
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 some inspiration to the person and
overall
 society , that will make the population more creative we can see vivdly for some
artist
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artists
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 in
defrent erea
Correct your spelling
different areas
 that change
there
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their
show examples
 society and
make
Verb problem
bring
show examples
 more Happiness to them
also
 the
art
 make the opportunity to works and do there own business .
Secondly
 ,
art
 is the way
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 feel and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 more active and
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their
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 bodies healthy all these things can
effect
Verb problem
apply
show examples
directly in the
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person's
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person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 mind .
to sum up
, until now some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
believe
Wrong verb form
have believed
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that is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
mone
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
 for
government
Add an article
the government
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 but
art
 is more than
art
Add an article
the art
show examples
it self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
 is a
tiraditions
Correct your spelling
traditions
tradition
 and the language of
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
show examples
.
Submitted by abdulelah.gh3 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revising your essay to ensure clarity and correct usage of grammar and punctuation. Focus on sentence structure and the use of connectors to improve the logical flow.
Task Achievement
To fully address the prompt, ensure your argument clearly supports your viewpoint with specific examples and comprehensive explanations. Diversify your examples and delve deeper into how art benefits society for a more complete response.
Response to the Prompt
You've shown a positive attitude towards art's influence on society, which aligns with the essay prompt.
Organization
You've attempted to organize your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • promoting cultural diversity
  • stimulates economic growth
  • creative industries
  • revenue
  • economic competitiveness
  • quality of life
  • wellbeing
  • social cohesion
  • strategic investment
  • sustainable development
  • accountability
  • extravagant
  • resilience
  • public discourse
What to do next:
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